tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post3723639774303319287..comments2023-06-13T07:07:29.903-07:00Comments on The Other Side: Views from this side of using donor eggsKamihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01215000341567119958noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-21734781854786930902018-01-09T10:23:53.255-08:002018-01-09T10:23:53.255-08:00The post gives the light in which we can observe t...The post gives the light in which we can observe the reality of the Egg Donation. This is a very clear writing and gives in-depth information about <a href="http://beaconcarefertility.ie/treatments-services/tests-treatments/fertility-assessments/" rel="nofollow">Egg Donation</a>. Thanks alot.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07556840449296995651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-77897681819491859062015-06-07T13:19:51.353-07:002015-06-07T13:19:51.353-07:00Hi Kami - I'd love to chat with you more. My h...Hi Kami - I'd love to chat with you more. My husband & I have just been recently told that DE is our only option from our current fertility specialist. I'm wondering if seeking out a second opinion is worthwhile #1 for my own unanswered questions of maybe I still have viable eggs (somewhere) in my body, & #2 is it worthwhile because my lab work will be the same & will it be a waste of time? I'm 42 & my husband is 42 also. He has less than 2% normal sperm count & my FSH level is 87. I guess I'm starting to realize that our hope of having our own biological child is fading & that conception happening is slim to none without DE. .. I have wondered all the same things about no longer having the possibility of having a mini-me. I have great qualities (not being selfish) & it's sad to think about my baby not having those (at least from me). But other questions arise. Do I have to be the same blood type as the DE? I have a rare blood type (B-). What if none of the donors have ANY of my physical characteristics, so that we could have a genetic baby similar to me? How to choose this? Would we have to go to many other clinics just to find that 'perfect donor'? Will I love that baby just the same, knowing that he/she won't be made from me? I also wonder how much of my genetic makeup, influences a DE from another? Will some of my DNA 'seep' into that embryo that I will carry? ... So many unanswered questions & many more continue to flood through me. I also have experienced that anger, and on many varying levels. I assume this is normal. I still want to explore & feel that I want to exhaust every possible option to conceiving with my own (nearly non-existent) eggs. Is that selfish of me? I can't answer that question. I know it will be monetarily costly, lengthy as far as time useful or wasted, and emotionally draining of myself & of my husband's psyche. I just want to make the right decisions. Your blog has been super encouraging and helpful. I'm so happy to have found your blog, and would like to hear from you if you would be willing to chat. My email is Itsjenrn@gmail.com. Thank you again Kami! Jennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04556015822995188934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-44245977881899795512013-05-18T18:47:26.327-07:002013-05-18T18:47:26.327-07:00what is an RE?what is an RE?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-81220129535461390122012-06-21T14:49:22.551-07:002012-06-21T14:49:22.551-07:00Thank you so much for your honestly and thoughfuln...Thank you so much for your honestly and thoughfulness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-57127674760809233012012-03-07T06:46:46.198-08:002012-03-07T06:46:46.198-08:00Thank you so much for sharing all this. It is so ...Thank you so much for sharing all this. It is so nice to know I am not the only one thinking and feeling the things that you have. I am about to start my first cycle of IVF with egg donation. I am still struggling at times to come to terms with the fact that I can't have my own biological child but reading your blog has really helped. Thank youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-54220913937328762732011-03-17T11:50:19.449-07:002011-03-17T11:50:19.449-07:00Thank you so much for putting into words what has ...Thank you so much for putting into words what has been storming around in my heart. We are now left with the back up plan as our only plan too and I am struggling with som many of the things you did. I am going to keep reading through your progress and hopefully I can find peace too.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01579765737205823900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-43271772905620884472011-02-07T12:06:24.177-08:002011-02-07T12:06:24.177-08:00Kami, I'm an editor with Adoptive Families mag...Kami, I'm an editor with Adoptive Families magazine. Our readership includes families built through donor egg and other methods, as well as adoption. We read this entry with great interest, along with "Answers to questions about using donor eggs," and wanted to inquire about reprinting them in the magazine. I hope you don't mind my leaving a comment (not sure if this will immediately go public, or to your inbox), but I didn't see an email address listed anywhere on your blog. You can reach me at eve at newhopemedia dot com. I hope you'll consider this request and reach out. Thanks!Evehttp://adoptivefamilies.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-49379831973829530352009-09-20T19:11:18.159-07:002009-09-20T19:11:18.159-07:00Thanks for the update! I hope it all continues to...Thanks for the update! I hope it all continues to go well.Kamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01215000341567119958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-36343825629583605362009-09-20T01:53:13.641-07:002009-09-20T01:53:13.641-07:00This is Astrocat88 and my update: We are leaving ...This is Astrocat88 and my update: We are leaving for India the 2nd of October to finally give our first go at DE+Surrogacy! We are so excited that we could leave right now! Obviously using DE and surrogacy are no one's first choice because they are not "natural" choices but goodness how Time does wonders to ease one into accepting new situations. Like I said, I am now so excited and happy to be able to go this route (as opposed to doing nothing!) that I could pop! We are also pursuing adoption but that will take 3+ years to come through, so we are really doing all that we can do to eventually have our child.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-43163584364417391212009-06-18T12:16:04.794-07:002009-06-18T12:16:04.794-07:00Good luck Astrocat! I would love to hear how it a...Good luck Astrocat! I would love to hear how it all turns out.Kamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01215000341567119958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-15095317906807998022009-06-18T12:12:37.133-07:002009-06-18T12:12:37.133-07:00I am Astrocat 88 but I cannot remember my password...I am Astrocat 88 but I cannot remember my password ... Well, my optimistic comment about DE was back in Feb 22 which we were going to do at the end of April. Since then I have high risk HPV and had to have part of my cervix removed and, given my age, and the fact that I cannot take hormones of any kind for a year, we are going to do DE+surrogate! If I thought DE was a hard decision, imagine surrogacy. I keep thinking of that quote that "life happens as we are making plans". Good luck to everyone on the DE path!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-69508520977547476752009-06-04T12:09:49.503-07:002009-06-04T12:09:49.503-07:00wow... you said everything i couldn't let myse...wow... you said everything i couldn't let myself feel...<br /><br />--thank you.Ceceliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10819695129155685981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-49720163623902742472009-03-31T08:39:00.000-07:002009-03-31T08:39:00.000-07:00This post is so honestly written. It verbalises ev...This post is so honestly written. It verbalises everything that scares me about Donor IVF. I feel that I have dealt with my feelings about not using my genes. But I am not sure that my family really 'gets' it. Or maybe they feel too sad about it and don't wan to tell me.Sianhttp://skrambled.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-78172849571809281302009-02-22T13:50:00.000-08:002009-02-22T13:50:00.000-08:00Thanks for your comment, Astrocat. I agree, it is...Thanks for your comment, Astrocat. I agree, it is better to mourn the loss of a genetic connection before the feelings of loss or shame are passed on to your child. I may have jumped into a DE pregnancy a little too soon because I thought I could just decide that I would be ok with DE. It didn't work like that, but I think it worked (and is working) out well just the same.<BR/><BR/>I think with our current level of knowledge, we don't really know how genes and environment interact to create a person. My <I>belief</I> is that the greater component is genetics. I also wanted, for whatever reasons, to see my genetics in my offspring. <BR/><BR/>It is a different journey for everyone and some adjust more easily than others. I also believe that some of that adjustment needs to come after the birth of that DE baby.<BR/><BR/>Thank you again for reading and commenting.Kamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01215000341567119958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-39844081680794163942009-02-22T01:59:00.000-08:002009-02-22T01:59:00.000-08:00I am 43 and went through an IVF-ICSI last Fall. T...I am 43 and went through an IVF-ICSI last Fall. Thanks to donor eggs I still have an opportunity to become pregnant. I have an IQ of 138, speak 4 languages, am attractive ... and I don't believe genes are the driving force. I believe love and a stimulating, positive environment are the main factors for producing loving, generous and kind children who will also be so as adults. No one knows what causes autism, for example (genes or a bothersome cold during pregnancy?). Furthermore, if one is going to use DE, I believe it is incredibly important to overcome one's fixation on one's own "genes" and embrace the donor's otherwise the resulting baby will certainly pick up on this! Shame and disappointment, although unspoken, are sensed like a dark cloud and create a very negative atmosphere. I have loved so much in my life that I have no doubt in my mind that I will love this baby! When I saw the DE's childhood photo, it was love at first sight and in fact, she was the one and only donor that was presented to us at IVFNJ. Western science is a God-Send! And I believe God gave us the intelligence to create technology and use it for positive means and this is definitely one of the most positive means of using technology.northstarsiemprehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03499066483037110543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-72231492245905778362008-12-22T09:14:00.000-08:002008-12-22T09:14:00.000-08:00It is not the OB's place to push anyone into seein...It is not the OB's place to push anyone into seeing an RE. It is only their place to provide information but the patient must pay the price for how they proceed. <BR/><BR/>I am not sure why you would say that western medicine let you down. Eastern medicine did not create the baby you currently have. If you left it to eastern medicine you would never have a baby. <BR/><BR/>You should thank western medicine and the American doctors and state of the art modern technology that gave you this precious little girl. Had you decided to rely on them much sooner, instead of proceeding down the natural path, you may have had the genetic child you wanted.<BR/><BR/>My husband is an RE for a notable clinic in NYC and he hears the common thread of women who abhor western medicine and have insisted on natural means to become pregnant only to run to him when they turn 40. Then they are only too eager to inject themselves with the "toxic" medicine they refused for years to get their baby. They leave pregnant by their eggs or donor eggs but are usually still proponents of the eastern medicine that gave them no baby. It is ironic and so ungrateful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-59238402068775877482008-12-14T11:32:00.000-08:002008-12-14T11:32:00.000-08:00Thanks for not just focusing onthe end poitn. I fe...Thanks for not just focusing onthe end poitn. I feel like such a heel for feeling sad, angry, let down, and worried about...you name it. I'm doing the 'one last cycle' gambit, and then we're onto DE. Thanks for sharing so openly and honestly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-3658222452323793752008-11-16T17:24:00.000-08:002008-11-16T17:24:00.000-08:00I came over from Bridges, and am just completely s...I came over from Bridges, and am just completely stilled and humbled by the brilliance of this post. This is one I will need to read again - as I read through, I found myself just saying "YES!" at every sentence. <BR/><BR/>For me (pursuing DI) there is a sense that comes and goes of doubting my choices because I haven't reached that point of "it doesn't matter at all". In general, it get resolved by just trusting my intuition that this is the path that will bring us our child, but it is always painful when those fears and doubts resurface, and I worry that they will never fully leave me. But this post helps to calm those fears somewhat, and gives voice to some of the good parts about this journey - the parts that have made me grow into a better woman and a better mother, more able to be aware of my own process and my own place within a larger process over which I have no control. <BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for having written this and for sharing it on Bridges - I'm quite sure I never would have found it otherwise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-58399777462740440702008-11-16T15:06:00.000-08:002008-11-16T15:06:00.000-08:00I also just read this on Bridges. I identify comp...I also just read this on Bridges. I identify completely. I still have my moments (and I may always).Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11096628572640730109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-38392921174566715432008-11-16T05:50:00.001-08:002008-11-16T05:50:00.001-08:00PS. Read your post through Bridges.PS. Read your post through Bridges.Jessica Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06801308494220195403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-14990450752642018502008-11-16T05:50:00.000-08:002008-11-16T05:50:00.000-08:00I can completely understand many of your thoughts ...I can completely understand many of your thoughts and feelings. My husband and I are using donor sperm. A lot of the things you said are things that I've thought myself, but in regards to my husband.<BR/><BR/>I think the majority of people who intentionally have a child (easily or not) see it as a way to right the wrongs of their own childhood.Jessica Whitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06801308494220195403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-44723900846542701982008-11-16T05:32:00.000-08:002008-11-16T05:32:00.000-08:00I just re-read this on Bridges, and I would love t...I just re-read this on Bridges, and I would love to know how you feel about all this now that LB is here. Is it the same, completely different, or a mixture of both?MrsSpockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10792687516201324640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-89959843246035180522008-06-18T00:21:00.000-07:002008-06-18T00:21:00.000-07:00hey kami, funny I just put out a call for a friend...hey kami, funny I just put out a call for a friend on this issue and I should have come here first (a year later). <BR/><BR/>wishing you a safe and easy birth and lots of rest to enjoy your new little one!lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6193753530280373065.post-87220765661582609082007-06-22T19:15:00.000-07:002007-06-22T19:15:00.000-07:00You just put into words what I was trying to expre...You just put into words what I was trying to express when I was talking about adoption. From this side of the fence, there is a difference and it does matter. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com