Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Not The Same

The following was in my in box this morning. I think Amazon needs to refine their program to recognize that choosing child free and and being involuntary child free are two different things.

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who has purchased or rated Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility by Janet Jaffe, you might like to know that No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children will be released on August 4, 2009. You can pre-order yours at a savings of $3.43 by following the link below.

No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children
Corinne Maier
List Price:$12.95
Price: $9.52
You Save: $3.43 (26%)

Release Date: August 4, 2009


Pre-order now!

Review
“A combination of tart sisterly advice with shock-tactic social analysis.”
Globe and Mail

“Maier seems to have that uncanny ability to put her finger exactly on what people are thinking, at the right time and in the right place. Right now, it’s motherhood.”
The Telegraph

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Nicki Defago

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Of course, I had to check out the book and found the author has 2 kids! She, apparently, discovered that she really didn't want kids after all. Perhaps if she had 6 years to think about it and to wonder if she would ever have kids, she would appreciate what she has. At the very least, appreciate that the desire for kids goes beyond logical reasoning.

I get that this is supposed to be a book of humor, but I couldn't help but compare some of the reasons listed in a review with the infertility experience:

•You will lose touch with your friends Yes.


•Your sex life will be over Ditto.


•Children cost a fortune Yep! AND you spend it in a very short period of time. With a little luck you will GET to spend a fortune on a child or two.


•Child-rearing is endless drudgery I guess one could argue TTC isn't endless drudgery . . . that is if you are lucky enough to find a way to become a parent.


•Vacations will be nightmares Vacations can be a great respite from TTC. It is always nice when you don't run across parents with kids they don't appreciate.


•You’ll lose your identity and become just “mom” or “dad” Raise your hand if you can't remember who you were before TTC. Raise both hands if you don't think you would recognize him or her.


On a personal note, I will concede there are trade off's. I don't get the sleep nor the freedom I used to have. There are times when I miss my old life - especially the life prior to trying to start a family. But I have to tell you, it is worth it. Drudgery? Not in the least. It has been a great adventure and I trust it will continue to be.

11 comments:

Sunny said...

I got the SAME email from Amazon (because I have Unsung Lullabies too -- awesome book). I rolled my eyes and deleted it immediately.

I too sometimes take a second to daydream about what I would be doing if DH and I decided to not ever TTC in the first place... I'd have a PhD and we'd travel Europe in the summers.

But I'd much prefer to have banana crusted on my shirt and sticky fingerprints on my fridge.

Working Girl said...

Gee...I can name all those reasons about how my life changed after getting my 60 pound dog!

So, I might as well add the baby too!!!

battynurse said...

That does seem to be pretty crappy marketing on Amazon's part.
What's worse though can you imagine how the authors kids will feel when they are older to know their mom wrote a book about good reasons not to have kids. Yeah, that makes a kid feel loved and wanted.

Sarah said...

OMG! That is so wack. I have to agree with the above poster. Poor kids.

MrsSpock said...

Wow. What do her kids think about how she feels about them?

I don't get many night of unbroken sleep, my body has changed completely, and day care is equivalent to paying a mortgage- but I regret it not at all. I love my little boy with a fierceness that leaves little room for regrets.

Lorraine said...

Yikes! It took two kids to figure out she didn't want to be a parent? At least they have each other to commiserate with...

Sara said...

Unbelievable! I'm appalled by Amazon's poor judgment, and I agree that parenting after infertility is a whole different thing. I am happy to be ABLE to have the "drudgery" every single day. Sometimes I feel sorry for fertiles...

Summer said...

I'm not sure what I'm most appalled at. Amazon's faulty programming or the author deciding she didn't want kids AFTER having them. I guess I can hope that she never taught her kids to read so they will never know how she feels about having them.

Ryan's Mommy said...

Beyond annoying.

Here's another example of direct marketing gone bad: My sister in law was living with us while her husband was deployed with the Army. She was pregnant at the time, but miscarried.

She has since moved out, but we still get tons of mail for her from baby products companies. Lots of formula and diaper samples and coupons. With headlines like "Your baby just turned 3 months old!" Can you imagine getting all that junk after a miscarriage?

And to add insult to injury, I'm infertile, so I get to enjoy these fun surprises when I open the mailbox. And there's no apparent way to stop the deluge of stuff. Horrible.

Me said...

"I had to check out the book and found the author has 2 kids!"

Someone who has 2 kids as absolutely NO PLACE writing a book like that!!!

Lisa DG said...

I still get things for my baby- "your baby is 7 months, 3 weeks old" I received the other day- actually, she died a year ago, ok?

I would have been pretty pissed had I received that email- I admire how you turned it around and made us laugh about it.