I am still here - just having trouble finding the time to blog. LB keeps me busy (and sleepy!) and work has been crazy. Not that I blog while working! No, of course not. Sheesh.
LBII seems to be going strong. I continue to plump up all too fast. Currently debating whether or not to get H1N1 vaccine - have decided each way multiple times. Continue to be more relaxed and expectant this pregnancy. Also still debating to quit my job or not . . . leaning toward not right now, but we will decide during my unpaid leave. Assuming, of course, we get a live baby out of this.
In LB news - she is at such a fun age. She uses more words every day and is constantly exploring. Right now I have a few minutes to blog because she is carefully opening the dog food container, getting a "scoop" (or about 2 tablespoons) and putting it in the dog's bowl. It is driving poor Ender, the dog (currently locked outside), mad with desire.
Bad infertile confession: I caught myself saying something in public I always try to only say in private. It was a lighthearted tone, but still would be offensive, I think, to a fellow infertile. After delightfully chasing LB around a department store, I joked to my mother, "I wish I had a five point harness!" Of course, there are times when I do want to tie her down for a few minutes, but people who don't know me also don't how grateful I am to have the opportunity to chase a little one around. I don't want to forget how something so casual can sting to someone in a different place on the trying to conceive journey.
That's it for now. Hopefully soon I will have a chance to post some of the things I have stirring around in my head. Until then I hope all of those still trying to have a child will find some peace during the difficult holiday season.
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10 comments:
Poor Ender. That's funny though.
I wouldn't have been bothered by a comment on a harness. I do get a little bothered by people saying things like here, have mine or are you sure you want kids they.... but many of those things, even the ones that sting a bit are human. You can love your kids to death and be hugely thankful for them and yet still occasionally wish for a moment of quiet or not running around.
I agree with Batty that the really dismissive comments are the worst, abut beyond that you do have to be able to allow yourself the full range of emotion that parenting brings.
Sometimes it's more about how something is said that what exactly the words were. I think that there are so many other issues - major health, divorce, etc. - that anyone at any time may be experiencing that if we can always just be thoughtful-ish in general that's about all anybody can expect when it comes to overheard comments. Obviously, direct conversations are another matter, but still I think a generally sensitive approach should be able to accommodate almost any topic. And you, of all people, are not going to have a problem in that area - I can't imagine anyone scowling at anything you might offhandedly say!
Glad things are going well with LB (and LBII, too!)
Ender needs to learn some control, its good for him. It is hard to not say the things that would have hurt when you had nothing, but I agree it could be anything, complaining of fat legs to someone who has none or non working ones, I mean really it could be anything, we are just more aware of the infertile comments that hurt. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving, are you going???? never did hear what the family plans had become and if you would go.
I personally have spent enough time around my sister's kids when they were toddlers that I wouldn't be offended by mention of a 5 point harness. To me, that is WAY different than wishing you didn't have a kid at all, which is more the MO of the offensive fertiles.
So glad to hear everything is right on track. Always good news to receive. xx
Sometimes I want a secret life where I can "pass" and say all the things that fertiles say, some of which are now occuring to me, but of course, I can't. Or I can, but only at home... It's important to be thoughtful, but it is also sort of a mantle that has to be managed.
IMO, just because you had a long road to getting LB doesn't mean you can't complain occasionally. I don't think that's insensitive to say something like that at all. you're allowed to still be frustrated by the hard work of being a mom.
I don't think that the harness comment is bad, but I do think it's great that you are trying to keep infertile feelings always in your mind.
Glad that everything is going well.
I wouldn't have been offended about the harness comment! However someone else may have. I suppose that it also depends where you are in this journey. I think I would have been more offended in the beginning of my journey.....However now I'm a little less sensitive.
I love this age too. 12-36 months is way better than the newborn stage for me.
I don't think I would have been offended about the harness statement. I do admit, though, I have had a few times recently with friends who don't have children, and I'm not sure when it's by choice or not, that I have held my tongue when talking about our son. One actually thanked me after dinner for not speaking about him all night. It goes to show, you never know who might get what out of our casual conversations.
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