Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dying The Slow Death

I think that may be the fate of my blog.  It is not my intention, but it seems to be happening.  I am not ready to officially walk away and maybe things will swing in the posting direction again.

Just a quick drive by today with a fark.com-like tag line:

You notice that you might just have some pre-fertile mucus do you: A) Mentally shrug your shoulders then forget all about it.  B) Not-so-fondly remember your trying to conceive days and be thankful that those days are over. or C) Start mentally composing your text message to your babysitter to discreetly ask if she can babysit Wednesday, Thursday or maybe Friday and if she could please take the kids to her house this time - because you can't pass up the chance for a free baby no matter how remote the possibility.

Tomorrow will mark the 6th anniversary of Ernest's birth.  There are so many what if's that go along with that. 

His younger sisters are doing great.  They can play together more and more every day and there are many times I think, "I am meant to do this (to be a mother)."  Not in any spiritual sense, but by my genetic and environmental programming.  It is nice to be on the other side.

14 comments:

Lavender Luz said...

Abiding with you as you remember Ernest.

I hope we stay in touch no matter what you decide to do with your blog space. You were one of my first bloggy friends. Way back when ;-).

LisainSK said...

I hope you continue to post - at least any DE family issues/stuff that arise. Your blog is the first I ever came across that there really are people out there that have done DE. But I totally can not fault you for wanting to close this door as the blog likely is a reminder of a very dark chapter in your life. Whatever you decide to do...thank you for creating your blog. It has touched me in ways you'll never know. Thank you.

Kami said...

Thank you ladies. I want to continue the blog and continue to post - at least - about how DE and IF continues it's impact (or lack of impact). I just haven't had the time or made it enough of a priority. I hope that will change.

Thanks for reading!

Dreams and False Alarms said...

I'm getting an IUD at my 6 week appointment. I need to close doors, when they are open, they just torment me...
However, if the fertile mucus made me feel extra sexy, I'd go with it for that reason! Get a babysitter! Why not?
Please, just blog when you want to. I'd miss your 'voice' if you officially shut down. Also, sometimes, I've noticed that bloggers go on hiatus, and then blogging rises back to the top.

Allison said...

I'm sorry for your loss; sending ((hugs))

~LCFA

Leah and Maya said...

Hmmmmm thats a tough predictament. I mean I remember the days of Ok we are at the ovulating state and the plan of action, every other day, or every 12 hours, all that crap. Now mostly I think oh look well whatever, our insurance is so crappy affording adoption might be right up there with the "free baby"
Go ride "the horsies" for Ernest his sisters will enjoy it, we will join you another time.

Panamahat said...

I hope I still hear from you if you stop posting! Sending love and thoughts on Ernest's anniversary. xx

Summer said...

You never know when the blogging mojo will hit again and I for one will read whenever you want to write something.

I experienced pre-fertile mucus about 5-6 months after I gave birth. It crossed my mind for a nanosecond to try and get pregnant. Then I remember my eggs were bad and old and realized I didn't want to subject myself to that torture (will there be a live baby? If so, will it be healthy?). Plus, if my son were to have a sibling, I want it to be a full sibling. But that's me and I think you have to do what feels right for you.

stacyb said...

Thanks for stopping by Kami, your support is always appreciated. I posted an update today.

Sara said...

I am always happy to see your posts, regardless of the interval between them.

I'm glad that you are enjoying being a mother. Me too.

Thinking of you on the anniversary of Ernest's birth. Hugs.

R. said...

Thinking of you today.

battynurse said...

Thinking of you and Ernest even though I'm a day late.
Whatever you decide about the blog I too hope we keep in touch. And on one of my trips home I hope we manage to get together again.
As far as the what if stuff? Providing I actually had someone to have sex with I'd totally be giving it a go. As it is that monthly reminder that my body is doing something (or trying) drives me a little crazy.

MrsSpock said...

I feel like my blog is dying a slow death too. Been thinking about ending it once this new one is born.

Remembering Ernest with you...

Bee Cee said...

Thinking of you on Ernest's anniversary.

In every other aspect of your post, I swear you hopped into my head and read my thoughts.