As usual, I am a bit behind. My midwifery appointment was Tuesday night.
My midwife arrived just as Brad and I were eating dinner. I know it was rude, but I was too hungry to wait. We shared some watermelon while Brad and I finished eating. During dinner and for about an hour afterwards we mostly just chatted about things. I let her know that I was doing better emotionally (thanks to more sleep, more exercise and more sun) and that I was happily feeling the baby move quite a bit. The movements feeling bigger now too. Instead of just a bump here or there, I can sometimes feel multiple movements all at the same time - like I can feel the baby rolling around in there. It is really nice.
We talked about vaccinations too. She is very much against all vaccinations. I feel that some are probably not worth the risk (chickenpox) and others might be good at a later date (hep B). She suggested I check out a website - tenpenny.com I think - about an MD who is against vaccinations.
I asked her for her thoughts on the glucose test my OB wants me to get. She doesn't think it is a good idea. Her reasoning: Lots of false positives that lead to unneeded interventions, hard on the pancreas (though she was glad to hear they now recommend a good meal 2 hours before taking the drink instead of fasting for 12 hours), and a pee test will indicate that I was "spilling sugar" anyway without the false positives. I'm not really worried about the trauma to my body from taking the test, but am worried about a false positive. I have put in a call to my OB to discuss the risks of not taking the test.
Then we did the actual exam. Once again, I got to feel the baby's head. This time I could feel it much better. It was just amazing. I felt like I was really touching him (btw, we have opted not to learn the sex of the baby - that's why I keep switching pronouns). Brad also let the midwife manipulate his hand so he could feel the baby. He is usually really timid about pressing too hard, but was willing to do it under her direction. That was nice too.
Everything else was routine and still within normal limits - blood pressure, pee test, etc.
Since then I have been more emotional. The night of the appointment I learned that an IRL friend who did her first IVF the same time I did my first IVF (we both got pregnant - she had a baby) is now trying for her second. Of course, her genetic baby. It really put me in a slump I am yet to climb out of. I don't think it is all about this news, but it helped start me down a slippery slope of not sleeping well and having more nightmares.
The fact that I am at the point in our pregnancy where we lost Ernest probably doesn't help either. Today is he day we delivered him - 27 weeks, 0 days. Last night was the night I spent crying and wandering the "mother and baby" floor of the hospital sobbing.
On an entirely different note - tomorrow at 8:30 AM PDT you can listen to a radio interview that introduces those of us on the panel for Tuesday. You can listen to it streaming at kpbx.org.
I believe it is repeated at 9:00 AM PDT on KSFC (same website, different icon). I haven't heard it and have no idea how it is going to sound.
The Forum is this coming Tuesday, but will be broadcast later. I will keep you posted.
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14 comments:
I'm sorry this is an emotional time for you. Reaching the point in a pregnancy where something happened in a previous pregnancy is quite a milestone. Hope you are feeling better soon.
Wow, getting to feel the head is amazing! My OB never does anything like that. Would be a neat experience.
Welcome back and glad everything is going well with the baby. I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time emotionally. Your wounds will slowly feel and what you are feeling is completely understandable after all you've been through. Hope you get past this hard time soon. Hugs to you.
What an awesome experience for you and Brad to feel the baby's head! That is way cool!
I can understand the emotion RE your friend. We are at different levels, but I can equate it to the level I am at and know what you mean!
As for the glucose tolerance...my endo had me do one (I am already a type 2 diabetic) and if was WAY OFF even for me being slightly elevated. So I agree...if you can do something else do it!
I had a false positive and had to do the 3 hour test. I never want to do that test again- I nearly passed out after drinking it, and then had a hypoglycemic reaction when the test was complete.
As far as vaccinations go, there is a book called "The Vaccine Book" written by Dr Sears (he just wrote an article in Mothering), that is very evenhanded and evidence based. I am vaccinating BTW, but am putting off certain ones (chickenpox and HepB) and requesting spacing out of others, as outlined in the book.
So glad the baby is doing well...
What a tough milestone you are facing now.
I know you'll do great on the radio show. Let us know if it can be found online after the broadcast.
Thanks for the support and advice. I am definitely going to look for the book by Dr. Sears.
As for the radio program, they have told me they will send me a sound file which I can post. When I find out when the forum will be rebroadcast, I will post that information as well.
I just wanted to say that I am at the exact point as you in my DE pregnancy and am experiencing the same feelings and emotions. Thank you for sharing them and letting me know that I am not alone.
Thanks for commenting, Anonymous. It is nice to hear I'm not alone too.
I'm sorry to hear you are having a bit of a slump. I can only imagine how unsettling/bittersweet it must be to be at that point in your current pregnancy where you lost Ernest. And the news about the friend, ugh...I understand.
But hey, from where I sit, I think you are in an amazing place, getting to FEEL the baby moving, and FEEL the baby's head! How wonderful! (But I am not trying to diminish your very real feelings about the other stuff. I am just saying, it sounds incredible and I hope to be pregnant one day too to know how that feels. I am happy for you for that.)
The pee test will actually frequently get a false positive. It's not reliable. The renal threshold for glucose excretion can be such that you leak some sugar without having Gestational Diabetes, esp in preg. In fact, the renal threshold for sugar also varies between people, and dipsticks are not supported by good evidence. They don't use them here for that OR for protein.
There are two versions of the glucose test, one of which las less of the false positives of which you speak, but is longer.
On the other hand, if you had GDM, would it change how you manage the pregnancy?
Just some thoughts....
J
I'm glad you're feeling better and getting rest. Sleep deprivation is the horrible (I saw after two bad nights of insomnia this week). I'm in the midst of editing portions of my book and reliving my IVF experiences by association. Clearly the trauma lives deep in my subconscious. As you said, "it helped start me down a slippery slope of not sleeping well and having more nightmares."
Here's to better coping and pushing those bad feelings aside...
It is definitely worth discussing the risk of not taking the test with your doctor, it is something that we will do too next time we'll see him. Since GD is normally controlled with a diet, I have agreed to even further decrease my sugar intake. Just in case. And that definitely won't harm me or the baby!
Glad to hear that the baby is doing well!
Hugs to you!
And I wanted to say something about Ernest, but did not know what to say...
Of course you think of him a lot. Especially now, with all the focus and attention on the new baby and reaching the point where you lost Ernest.
He will always be your first-born and deeply loved and remembered. He is lucky to have such an amazing mummy!
Glad you had a good experience today with the Midwife. It must be so surreal to feel the baby's head! Wow. I can't even imagine.
So sorry for the darkness that sometimes consumes you. You have been through so much and it is no wonder you feel so sad at times. Go easy on yourself and be good to you.
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