Saturday, November 8, 2008

Cross Pollination Post

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Hi, all... I'm M, and I normally blog over at Mystery Blog. (No, not the real name. Guess who I am and then click over to see if you are right). I'm a wife, mother of two (son H age 4; daughter M, age 2 months), and a youth pastor in Central Florida. I know many of you are wonderful supporters of Kami and of SO many other ladies who struggle, mourn, rejoice, and celebrate together in this amazing community. During our path to conceiving our second child, I discovered this world of women who were in my shoes, and had been for some time; a sisterhood who needed each other and were able to count on each other for support. It was so tremendously helpful.

Because my blog is one which my family, in-laws, RL friends, and even a youth group member or two read, I have a hard time being as open as many of you are able to be. Although I don't use our last name or city on the site, our first names are unusual enough that it's not hard to figure us out. I started blogging in March 2006 primarily to communicate day-to-day goings on with our son to our families since we live far away from everyone. Light stuff - you know, funny stories, photos, silly things that were going on. We didn't tell many people that we'd started trying to get pregnant again, and I certainly didn't blog about it. I miraculously got pregnant after about 10 months of extremely irregular cycles, no ovulation, a PCOS diagnosis, and was 2 days away from starting Clomid. And when I had bleeding early in the pregnancy, and needed progesterone supplementation, I found solace reading posts about that, too. While I was so saddened by how many women were struggling, I was finally feeling not so alone.

I wish now that I had been more open. Only after I made it to 12 weeks and shared the basics of our story on my blog did I learn that my mother needed Clomid to conceive two of her three children (including me). I also found out that both my older female cousins have had reproductive struggles, including miscarriage, using Clomid, and having years of unexplained infertility. I now know that this is nothing to stay silent about. Even saying that, I'll probably not broadcast the nitty-gritty details of our reproductive plans to the world, simply because of my readership.

I hope you don't consider me an "infertility poseur." I'm not boasting when I say that I know my struggle doesn't compare to many of yours. You women are warriors in a battle no one deserves to fight. I honor you and pray for all the families struggling to conceive, stay pregnant, recover from loss; those who've made it to the other side; those who've chosen different paths to parenthood; and those who work to make peace with living without children. Thank you all for inspiring and comforting me, even though you had no idea I existed.

5 comments:

Kami said...

How nice that you were a catalyst to let other people open up about their struggles.

Congrats on the new baby and even though I recently posted that secondary doesn't compare to primary infertility because of the opportunity to parent; I still think it just plain sucks when it doesn't happen easily.

mo*reezy said...

You're right, it doesn't compare. But I think ANY time that your heart is broken by disappointment and not feeling fulfilled just plain sucks. It just sucks in a different way.

Geohde said...

I think it's always very very tough, wheter children are already in the picture or not.

One of my good friends is only four months (and two very very long cycles) into ttc number two, and it's ripping her up. Existing child notwithstanding.

J

MrsSpock said...

I was out of the closet from the beginning and do not regret it. Four people I know came out of the closet to me, many of whom were struggling in secret for years. I don't know how anyone lives with this secret.

That said, I have no clue who the guest blogger is.

Cassandra said...

Based on the kids' ages and being a youth pastor in Florida, there's only one person it could be -- Mo*reezy/Meresi. The initial M just confirmed it. Looking forward to seeing your post when it appears on her blog!