Friday, January 23, 2009

Vaccination Day


I have scheduled LB's DTaP shot 4 times now and canceled or rescheduled three times. Shooting 170 micrograms of a neurotoxin into her 19 pound body just freaks me out. I really don't want her to get pertussis and it is one of the more common diseases we vaccinate for. She is getting less breastmilk (less protection), is likely to be around kids more and if we are lucky we will have a sibling in a year or two. While whooping caugh isn't likely to me more than a huge discomfort to LB, it could kill a newborn. All good reasons. So I make an appointment.

As the day approaches I start worrying about the potential side effects. What if her body can't eliminate aluminum? What if she has one of the rare reactions? What if it leaves lasting, long term consequences? A day or two before the appoint, I call up the doctor's office and either reschedule or all out cancel.

So far, I haven't canceled. Brad is more determined than I am to get it done. Plus it is her 6 month wellness visit (yes, she's 7 months now). We can just go to the appointment and skip the shot.

I know to many of you, this is likely being deathly afraid to fly in an airplane. It is a fear greater than the likelihood of something bad happening. Maybe it is exactly like that. But maybe, unlike calculating the odds of a plane crash, the damage is more subtle. Maybe we won't know for 50 or 75 years the cost of the immunizations on our overall health. Maybe the high number of vaccinations really are tied to greater autoimmune diseases.

Well, there is the full circle. We will see if I break out of it today. If I do (we do) then we will see if LB suffers any short term consequences. We may never know if there are long term ones.

Wish us all luck. I will update later today or tomorrow morning.

I am also almost done with the post answering the remaining questions about DE and then I will move on to EC updates.


Fertilized said...

Kami- My heart is with you today. A fear is a fear regardless.

stacyb said...

i hear you kami...we have not yet vaccinated our little one, but we will. we have an appointment in feb.

Mrs. Spit said...

I understand the fear. Can you split the shot?

FWIW, I couldn't have the pertussis shot as a child, I was allergic to one of the components, and it has been a pain in the butt. Both as a kid, when I had to get pulled out of school if there was an outbreak, and then again when I was in University.

Peeveme said...

Hi, I'm pretty much pro-vaccine so I'm going to try not to come off all high and mighty. I do not want to pooh pooh your concerns. In fact, I have them as well. When I'm in this type of situation I try to minimize the emotionality of it. I don't find it particularly useful in decision making. I rely on the science. I try to focus on what we know not what we fear. If my inner dialogue is not productive I shut it down. I might be accused of being unemotional. I see it as understanding my emotions, thinking them through and moving on. Sometimes emotions can get us stuck. Weigh your options and make the decision and forgive yourself. I'm not sure you are going to find a solution that makes you all warm inside. Sometimes you just have to pick to lesser of two evils.

Hugs. My 2 year old hasn't had a vaccine in a long time but I do remember how awful it was. But I believe I'm doing the best thing for her. I guess that is why I'm at peace with it.

Lorraine said...

Good luck with the courage-gathering!

I still remember getting the old DPT when I was about four. My parents took me to their friends' garden party afterwards, and I spent the whole time moaning behind the floor-length drapes in the living room. The hostess brought me a cup of white grape juice and told me it was okay if I spilled because it wouldn't really stain.

Now, I feel like it's us parents who will end up behind the drapes!

battynurse said...

We all have things we fear and have to find ways to deal with them or elliminate them from the equation. I hope the appointment went well whatever you decided about the vaccination. Hang in there.

Ryan's Mommy said...

Did you hear about this:

I don't think this is the same vaccine as you're talking about, but it scares the hell out of me nonetheless.

Please tell us how it went.

Ryan's Mommy said...

Did you hear about this:

I don't think this is the same vaccine as you're talking about, but it scares the hell out of me nonetheless.

Please tell us how it went.

Amy said...

Kami ~ I share your fears on vaccines. I understand the benefits, but the potential risks scare me. On top of that, my cousin's daughter just had the DTP shot (2 months old) and had a seizure the next day. She goes for an EEG this week, and so far hasn't had any other side effects. But it's still scary nonetheless.