Monday, February 15, 2010

Perfect Moment Monday: Thank You

Before I get to the "thank you" of this post, I would like to thank all the lovely ladies who commented on my last post. It is good to reminded I am not alone and not the only bitter infertile out there.

As for the "thank you" topic for this Perfect Monday post, I'm not sure I will able to capture how important this "thank you" I received meant to me, but I will try.

One evening last week, Brad and I took LB for a walk in her stroller. It was a damp, dark, but pleasant evening. We were enjoying the time to connect with each other since LB was quite sleepy and content to just take in the scenery. The topic of conversation turned to LB and we gushed to each other about what a great kids she is and how much fun we have with her.

I told Brad about how, the other night, I sat and watched LB sleeping and just couldn't get my mind around how she came to be here. In our lives. Sometimes she just seems almost a stranger (for lack of a better word). Here is this amazing human being unfolding right before our eyes. How did we get to be so lucky? Who is this person? Where did she come from?

It was an awe-some moment, if you get my meaning. I then suggested that part of my disbelief might stem from her being the product of another woman's eggs. Maybe if I looked at her and saw my eyebrows (very much her donor's) or my chin (her dad's) or something identifiable as clearly of me; the whole thing wouldn't seem so mysterious. I wasn't complaining or sad, just making an observation.

My dear husband had the most wonderful reply. He has said things similar in the past or perhaps even the exact same thing and I just heard it differently that night. Before I had heard reassurance in my role as LB's mother. That day, I heard gratitude.

He said, "Thank you." And I heard:  Thank you for doing whatever it took. Thank you for bringing into existence this little girl - the one that I love so much.

Thank you, love of my life, for saying so.  And thank you for keeping me going when I wanted to stop.

For other Perfect Moments this Monday, please visit Lori's blog

14 comments:

babyattheend said...

What a beautiful, inspiring, perfect moment. Thanks so much for sharing!

Lavender Luz said...

Awe-some has become such a weak word for the feelings that you must have felt in that moment. So ecstatic about the way things ARE. So content with your role in it. The culminating of everything and how it could be no other way.

Love it.

cowboyboot lady said...

That is a perfect moment. Very nice!

Sunny said...

What a gorgeous moment, how touching are his words.

PFM said...

I have tears in my eyes. That is beautiful. I look at my adopted son and am in awe every day. He is such a beautiful person on the inside and out. There are many things about him that are similar to myself and my husband. It is amazing.

Panamahat said...

Kami that made me cry. Hearing that 'thank you for doing whatever it took' is just what I needed right now, sitting with a lot of ambivalence going into a donor egg cycle. So thank YOU.

skrambled said...

That is fantastic! I really like the story.

Sky said...

It's funny that the genetic mom's I know feel exactly the same with their first children. They're so in awe of how this perfect little stranger came to be in their lives. And I suppose it's always miraculous if you think about it from a scientific standpoint (which I always do). There are a dozen eggs which could release that month and tens of millions of sperm released to fertilize the one egg the woman's body releases. That means there are probably trillions of unique combinations - trillions of unique possibilities of specific DNA that can be created. Every single one of us is probably a one in a trillion of what could have been in our place.

Your daughter is very special indeed, regardless of the egg.

Frenchie said...

Gorgeous.

Summer said...

I understand exactly the kind of awe you are talking about.

This perfect moment brought tears to my eyes.

tireegal68 said...

What a beautiful moment! Thank you is a lot more than two words when it's said right!

MrsSpock said...

Lucky in so many ways! And soon, lucky once more over!

Archer's Mommy said...

Beautiful sentiment Kami!
Just FYI, though, I look at my bio kids and wonder how too. I think it is b/c they are their own unique little beings. Even if they share my genes, they are still a complete other person, and amazing. You love LB like any mother would/should. She's a lucky little girl to have you, as LB2 will be too.

Suzy said...

That is indeed a perfect moment!