Thursday, July 10, 2008

Highs and lows

Thank you to everyone for your comments. Thanks for reading that very long post . . . or skimming it. That's ok too.

I have been doing my best to get caught up on my blog lurking / commenting, but am currently way behind. My apologies.

I thought I would steal an idea from my friend Rebecca who I met via IVFC and hope to meet in real life soon.

High: Watching LB wake up in the morning or after a nap. Bonus if I can get her over a potty and "catch" that first elimination.

Low: Crying or getting sad every evening. At first I thought it was about one thing or another, then I figured out it was probably just hormones.

High: Noticing that the blues seem to be lessoning in the evening.

Low: Realizing LB gets her red-ish hair from my nasty, nasty MIL. I hate that she gets to pass on her genes and I don't. I am telling myself that Brad has red highlights. Maybe Belinda has red hair in her family.

High: Being able to comfort LB just because I hold her. Because I am her mom. Screw the MIL. I'm her mom!

Low: Watching c-sections on youtube. This could probably be listed under a "good idea bad idea" post, I suppose. Still, I can't help it. I need to know. Plus, I only watched two.

High: Seeing Brad being such a good dad to Little Butterfly.

Low: Missing my Brad time.

Low: Hearing LB cry like the world is coming to an end.

High: Remembering the years I waited to hear that cry and suddenly realizing it is a happy sound too.

High: Many 'firsts' that we have dreamed about for so long. I feel like shouting Ta-da! every time: First trip to a cafe . . . Ta-da!; First time in a sling . . . Ta-da!; First time nursing in a sling in public . . . Ta-da!; First picture of Brad holding LB while playing Eve online (she was facing daddy not the monitor) . . . Ta-da! First time going for a walk together in the nearby field - the same field I have walked hundreds of times to keep from falling into a deeper sadness when we were TTC . . . a big, huge, Ta-da!

That reminds me of a popular meta news filter. The one with the catchy tag lines for each article. You know, Fa.rk.com. This would be our fake fa.rk tag line:

Parents request timely baby conceived naturally and birthed at home. Baby evades parents for six years, conceived via IVF and donor eggs, arrives via cesarean. Ta-da!

13 comments:

Amy said...

Kami ~ I'm glad that you're doing well. I've been reading your blog for awhile, but I'm a bad commenter. I don't do it nearly as much as I should. Wanted to let you know that I'm thrilled you and Brad finally have your "ta-da's". You both deserve to be happy so much.

Laurie said...

Hi Kami, I'm so happy for you. I love reading about your "firsts". As far as the highs/lows, totally hormones. I cried a lot in the evenings too. I would be nursing Claudia and would bawl about how I was ignoring Theo during that time and what a bad mother I was. Then I cried for about a week because I thought I might die and leave my children without a mother. Totally hormones.

Kate said...

What a great post today! Got me teary eyed! Laughed outlound about the MIL's red hair!

peep said...

It was nice to read your birth story and your highs and lows post. i feel a lot of those same emotions. Congratulations on your sweet baby girl.

Leah, Joe, and Maya said...

Screw the MIL both of my nephews were born with red colored hair and now are very blonde, plus you and Byndi have the same color hair, so its all you!!!! see you next week. I am terrible at leaving comments I just follow lots of blogs, I'm trying to get better.

Jill said...

Crying or getting sad every evening. At first I thought it was about one thing or another, then I figured out it was probably just hormones.

YES - I cried so much in the beginning. It's so totally normal.. don't over analyze. Just cry it out :)

I love reading your posts! Will we ever get to see pictures??

Flo said...

What a lovely post! Happy to read your highs, there seem to be a lot more than lows! I can almost picture you walking through the field with LB! Lovely!

Also wanted to say thank you for drawing my attention to EC, I ordered the book and have every intention on giving it a go with our baby girl once she's born. Even though I have never heard anybody about it here and people that I did mention it to, reacted a bit strange. Anyway, thank you! Hope to read more about how you get on with it!

familyoftwo98 said...

Parents request timely baby conceived naturally and birthed at home. Baby evades parents for six years, conceived via IVF and donor eggs, arrives via cesarean. Ta-da!

With many, many, many more Ta-da moments that will sadden and surprise as they come...you DID request the instruction manual didn't you?

tickintime said...

I'm really happy for you. Can't wait to hear more ta-da moments!!

Ruthie said...

Guess what..you are normal. Different circumstances with yours and mine situation, but similar feelings of "highs and lows" and there are new ones every day.

m said...

Great, great post, Kami. And for some reason, it made me a little teary too. Happy tears. So happy for you all. thanks so much for your well wishes over here as well.

stacyb said...

hiya Kami...got to a computer and have been catching up. so great that you and LB and Brad are doing well...it is really a period of adjustment...i too many of the highs and lows you write about so well.

just really happy for you.

Smiling said...

What a great post... I am so happy that you are getting to write about all these experiences in the first person!

I also made some mental notes to myself such as 'phew at least my MIL has the same hair color as me' and 'what - youtube has medical stuff too - I need to go NOW to look up c-sections and better yet durmoid cyst removals'

I am wishing you many more ta-da moments!