Thursday, October 23, 2008

An 'Oops' Pregnancy?

I just found out it will cost us approximately $900 to store our one frozen embryo until we planned to transfer it. We transferred three from this batch for LB and (obviously) one implanted. Based on the clinic's stats it has about a 10%-15% of making a baby. Even though it would cost us about $3500 to transfer it, if we were lucky it could save about $22,000 over a fresh cycle. We only want two kids so we would be done.

Originally we planned on doing this in the May cycle so we can do the fresh cycle no later than June. This would give me time to heal for a vbac and, to be honest, I'm just not ready to be pregnant again. But then there is the $900 to store this not-likely-to-be-a-baby embryo until that time.

This is what I am currently entertaining: Transfer the embryo in the next available cycle and save $600 of those fees. If things go as expected, we are no worse off in terms of doing a fresh cycle in June. If it works, we will just call it an "ooops" pregnancy.

Except I want a home birth - I am zero out of two for home births and I have (hopefully) one more chance. I only know of one study, but it indicates 24 months is the best place to be in terms of uterine rupture after a cesarean. Getting pregnant in January would make it only 15 months. But then we are very unlikely to get pregnant. I think this brings me back to the beginning.

That is the fun of infertility, I guess. You can't just "see what happens". You have to decide, plot and plan and still expect it to go nothing like you had hoped.

19 comments:

Irish Girl said...

I am trying to put myself in your shoes here ... understanding the importance of a home birth experience (totally valid, totally understandable) ... yet still I feel that the answer is to transfer the embryo asap and see what happens. Life so often turns out the way you least expect it. If that embryo is meant to be your second child, well, then that is a sacrifice and a gift all in one. No matter what, I'm rooting for you as always. Good things, Kami. :-)

Irish Girl said...

Should say THIRD child, Kami. So sorry about that. My mistake.

MrsSpock said...

You know, I don't think 15 months would automatically disqualify you from homebirth. If you feel good about this, then go for it. 3rd times a charm, maybe?

We have struggled with this as well and did some "trying" for 3 months after J's birth. And then I changed my mind. Now I'm thinking we'll do a 6 month "try" period next fall when J is 18 months old before heading back to the RE. This based mostly on money, needing a new car, still being flared up from my fibro, and plain old sleep deprivation.

Summer said...

I'm surprised the storage fee is so high at your clinic!

I don't envy your decision. With infertility, you give up so much already and now you are being asked to give up more.

Sky said...

Okay, this is VERY interesting. My best friend's first child was a C-section and LITERALLY 14 months later she gave birth to her son via vaginal birth. I thought once a C-section, always a C-section and she said no, that she hadn't heard that. (Her husband is a doctor but an Oncologist so I imagine he didn't know either)

Having said that, someone I worked with years ago had a home birth with a sought-after doula that resulted in catastrophe, so I am pretty anti anything that doesn't involve high-tech medical equipment in a sterile environment, just like mother nature intended ;) (heck, women in the 18th century would have given their left arm for a chance at a virtually risk-free and drugs vs. the deathly odds they faced naturally).

But I digress.....point is, vaginal can follow C-section and not that much later, I believe.

Me? Take me to the state-of-the-art, high-brow medical center with all of the bells and whistles, knock me out and wake me up by placing a beautiful, clean baby clad in Pampers and hand me a baby bottle. Oh Kami, I know you're horrified right about now! :)))

Sara said...

Such a difficult decision, and you're a smart enough cookie to make it for yourself without extra assvice from me. I just wanted to wish you good luck with whatever you choose.

Smiling said...

That is a lot to juggle... Gosh it sucks that we get to weigh such bizarre stats and costs.

I just wanted to say that while 600-900 is a lot of money, particularly as the economy upchucks, I wouldn't let the money be a deciding factor on timing of your next cycle...

$600 is one last minute plane ticket to see an ailing grandmother or a last minute trip to Seattle so you can get your passport renewal expedited in time to catch your international flight the following week after your dad defaced your original passport...

sorry to digress - as you can see I have had to drop that kind of cash on two instances recently for experiences that honestly were even less important to me than a chance at a home birth, but I never doubted that it was money well spent... I wish the timing had been better so I hadn't had to spend so much money, but there isn't much in this journey that is cheap or convenient, is there?

Best of luck!

battynurse said...

I would say go for it and try. It's one of those that if you don't you may always wonder.

Ryan's Mommy said...

Not that you asked, but I say go for it. In the end, how a child enters the world is less important than the fact that it enters the world. Even if you waited, there's no guarantee that a home birth would be in the cards. And if you don't wait, there's no reason to think a VBAC still wouldn't be a possibility.

You're braver than I. I'm terrified of VBAC and going for a scheduled c-sec, if I ever manage to get PG again.

Jenna said...

You wrote that to be honest, you're just not ready to be pregnant again. If that's the case then wait. I don't think that $600 should be the deciding factor. I say go with your original plan and wait until you're really ready.

But whatever you ultimately decide I wish you the best.

Jill said...

I'll just say - think really hard before considering having 2 kids 15 months apart... you're in the absolute easiest phase right now with LB in my experience... she doesn't do much, you're over the hump on feeling like a complete rookie, you might even be getting a little sleep.... 12-18 months were the most demanding of all so far with my little guy...

Whatever you choose, I wish you luck. But I wouldn't make the decision based on $600.

Geohde said...

I hear you. The concept of 'oops...pregnant' is so surreal...

J

Laurie said...

I wouldn't let $600 be the deciding factor. I'd think about all the other factors you mentioned, particularly if you want to be pregnant right now, and if you want 2 babies so close in age. Having 2 babies that are 12 months apart (you know my story, I'm not uber-fertile or anything), I have to say that the first few months were EXTREMELY difficult and it's something you have to be mentally and physically prepared for. Just my two cents...Good luck with whatever you decide.

Lorraine said...

Wow! It seems so soon to have to make these decisions. I guess I tend toward the "don't let $600 sway you" comment category. This will affect you for the rest of your life, and amortizing the storage cost over a lifetime might make it seem less daunting.

I think, as usually is the case, you'll know the right decision for you.

familyoftwo98 said...

If your story has evoked any feeling it is that you can do what ever you put your mind to.

I KNOW you really want to strive for that home birth, and that is important BUT is it more important to reach that goal or the goal of a third child, a sibling for LB?

I always say "its only money" Which is true when you don't have it...so don't let that alone sway moving forward quickly if you aren't fully vested and ready for all the reasons you have mentioned...but like I said...I know you can do what ever you put your mind too!

singletracey said...

That last paragraph is SOO true. No matter how well we plan.. it still doesn't work out accordingly! hahah

I say go for it!

Hugs for you and LB

stacyb said...

hi kami...haven't stop by in a while...i like what you've done to the place!

i have no doubt you and dh will make the best choice for your family...whatever you decide i'm rooting for you.

battynurse said...

Love the new look!!

mo*reezy said...

that is no easy decision. If home birth is the most important thing to you, then waiting is probably smart - is the choice for storage only between doing it now or in May? Or is there something in between to split the difference? I hope you find some peace with it, whatever you decide...

And apparently we've been matched up to trade posts in a couple of weeks, sorry I haven't gotten in touch before now. My email should be attached to the comment - if it's not, leave a comment over on my blog with how to get in touch with you.