Friday, April 10, 2009


Remember when you started telling yourself, "This time next year I will have a baby."? If we ("we" meaning all of us dealing with infertility) only had a dime for every "this time next year" date that passed without a baby we could afford to pay for all those expensive fertility treatments.

I count myself among the fortunate who found out what it was like to get to "this time next year" and have the baby be a reality. We are having so much fun doing things and experiencing those dreamed of moments and now I find that I sometimes look back and think about what we were doing "this time last year" or previous years.

Looking back:

Spring 1999: I came home from the Peace Corps and told Brad, "Let's get married and have kids!"

Spring 2000: Married the love of my life. My family had a fit when I suggested that Brad and I might elope. Who would have thought these things took planning? In typical Brad and Kami fashion, we procrastinated for about 9 months and threw it together in about 3 months. We got married on a Friday because every place was booked on the weekends.

Spring 2001: I don't remember, but I bet we were having fun. Brad was between jobs so I would come home from work and we would do nothing but play since all those pesky household jobs were done. That summer I never even saw a cut blade of grass. I would come home from work and, like magic, the grass would be mowed, raked and tossed in the compost pile. Good times.

Spring 2002: We officially started TTC. I went off BCP's four months prior. How exciting and scary! I will never forget that first time.

Spring 2003: We are off to Amsterdam to work for our mutual employer. There had already been some tears on the TTC front, but this was a chance to forget all about that and see if we got lucky. We had some adventures while in Amsterdam including barely (I mean running through the airport, holding the plane for us kind of barely) catching a last minute flight to Venice for the weekend.

Spring 2004: Ernest was conceived on our second attempt at natural cycle IUI. I wish I knew then what a miracle he was.

Spring 2005: Still trying for our second miracle with IUI's. This is the time I was transistioning from "barely hanging on" to "maybe suicide isn't such a crazy idea afterall". I don't know how Brad managed to hold us both together. Did I ever mention what an amazing, kind, patient and loving person he is?

Spring 2006: First miscarriage and second IVF.

Spring 2007: Fourth IVF.

Spring 2008: Are we really going to have a baby?!

Spring 2009: Glorious! Enjoying LB to the fullest: first solo swinging, first buttercup, first buttercup oral extraction, sitting in the grass, cleaning out flower beds with her in a sling, walks to the boat house (river trail near our house), among other adventures.

On a tangently related topic (it happened in the Spring), I just got a call from my financial rep who is getting a quote for me for some term life insurance. She said that she has never quoted someone with such a high ranking. I was "preferred select." She thought that, given our fertility issues, the best I would get would be two tiers down or "non-smoker". Once again, I was given the opportunity to educate someone that "healthy" does not equal "fertile". Sigh.


Sky said...

Sometimes I think if I had the benefit of looking at a timeline like yours, that ends in such sweetness, it'll make this fearful journey easier.

Thrilled that life is so very good for you after all of the hard times.

battynurse said...

Oh yes, I've done the whole "next year I'll be doing this with a baby" and many times now had it not be true. I'm so glad for you that it finally is.

Me said...

I'm so glad this spring is so much better than those that came before it.

(Too right on the silly correlation people assume. I mean haven't they ever *thought* about all the crack-whore mamas out there?)

skrambled said...

On my side of the world (South Africa) we are going into winter. My least favourite season.

Lorraine said...

I'm so glad you got the "next year" you've been waiting for. If only you could come home to already-done chores, too!

Lisa DG said...

You continue to be an inspiration, even though I know that isn't your goal. It just makes me realize I may get my "this time next year."

Thanks for all you share.