Thursday, February 14, 2008

The upside of being down?

This is an interesting article arguing that maybe we shouldn't try to be happier if our natures are not inclined that way.

I think I would rather be happier and am willing to work on changing my thoughts and habits to get there. Then again, maybe I would be happier or at least more at peace, if I accepted myself as I am. Hmmm . . .

On a similar subject - an article about a woman who is naturally happy.

What do you think? Should we just be sad when we feel like and not try to change? Has anyone out there read his book? If so, what did you think?

9 comments:

meg said...

I think just be sad if you want to. Or be happy.

I will go check out those books though!

Lori said...

I definitely think we should feel what we feel. "That which we resist persists."

But we must not dwell. It is hard to know where the line is.

My rule when I find something I don't like about myself is to put at least as much energy into loving and accepting as I put into changing.

Haven't read articles yet.

peep said...

How interesting. I agree that some of my more productive and thoughtful moments have come when I was feeling down. It feels good to be happy too. I guess the key is to embrace the mood as it comes. Maybe if we all stop trying to make people happy all the time, we would all be better off.

Familyof2 said...

I am one who goes with the flow...if I am sad you know it...if I am happy you know it. Heck a shrink would probably diagnose me manic based on that analasys...but I say do what ever feels right and the rest be damned!

Foreverhopeful said...

Interesting articles Kami..! You know I used to be a super happy person (almost to the extreme) and even if things were rough, I wouldn't let it get to me. People thought I was always on cloud nine and not dealing with reality. I know people used to think I had this perfect life but it was just an illusion and I think so many people are like that. They seem so happy on the outside but you don't know whats really going on in the inside. It doesn't do anyone good to deny those feelings. I don't think I knew how to be honest to the people around me. I was taught to not share the bad stuff and protect ourselves and so many people are like that. Than I got infertility and to keep up that facade just wore me out. Infertility taught me how to be honest with myself and honest with the people that care for me. I stopped pretending and showed my pain and was vulernable and that's when the deeper relationships formed. That's when I grew as a person and with my friends/family. So I do believe its important to feel what you need to feel. Its not good to be in denial or shove things under the rug and not deal with your dark thoughts/emotions. But I do believe its a balance. We can't dwell on them. We have to recognize them, feel it, deal with it and than make steps to healing.

onwardandsideways said...

It's an interesting subject, that is for sure. I do believe that some people are by nature happier than others. Some people are just more sensitive and their equilibrium is easily disturbed. You can totally see it in babies. Some are just happy, smiling, bubbly most of the time, and others are continually cranky. I think we're born with a certain nature, and then nurturing influences that a great deal as well. I think a happy baby's natural tendency to happiness can definitely be squelched in an environment that's fear, worry or anger-focused.

I think it's also important to feel your feelings honestly and not try to push or force yourself into feeling something you don't. Doesn't mean you don't have to just suck it up sometimes, but you can still feel what you really feel in private.

onwardandsideways said...

P.S. I tagged you! See my site for details

Pamela Jeanne said...

I definitely believe that we should feel the whole range of our emotions. Trying to be happy when it's just not in me on any given day just makes me frustrated and anxious. I'd rather just be...

Flo said...

Interesting articles!

I remember once reading that if you smile when you are feeling down, you start feeling better. If I remember correctly, it sends a signal to the brain to make more serotonine.

Never worked for me though! Add the feeling of feeling a bit silly for grinning when you are actually feeling down... You get the drift.

I agree thee is a fine line between being down and dwelling on things though!