Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Midwife appt # 5: 30 weeks and 5 days

I believe I am starting to get into the routine of things and feeling more comfortable with my identity as a pregnant lady. Last night as I chatted with Cathy (my midwife) I realized I often would sit with my hands on my belly so I could feel the movement in my hands as well as in my body. It was nice to feel a little bit normal in my pregnancy instead of feeling like I don't belong in this sub group.

I still take care not to do the public belly rub thing or behave in ways that might look like I am bragging or showing off my belly. Often I will ask Brad, "Does this shirt look too tight? Does it look like I am showing off?" I also try to wear short or 3/4 length sleeves or otherwise try to expose my Infertility Awareness Bracelet. I doubt there are many people in the area the know what it means, but at least I feel I am doing all I can.

In the comfort of my own home, I will indulge. I may have said this before, but I once had someone say to me, "Oh, I am sooo tired. The baby was moving all night and I couldn't sleep." I can tell you that I still relish every single movement. When the baby is moving at night, I pause to enjoy it. I would gladly lay awake in bed for hours just feeling LB doing whatever it is she does in there. I don't ever want to get used to this feeling. I want it to always be special. Last night, talking to Cathy, I was just sitting there happy to be where I was at.

Soon we got to the meat of the visit. Brad and I got to feel the baby's head, but this time we could feel the back and the rump as well. I really had to push hard to feel the back, so I don't feel comfortable doing it without the midwife. Maybe that will change as time goes on.

Cathy checked for the heartbeat and it sounded good. I asked her if she actually counted the beats and she said that she has a feel for the rhythm. If it doesn't seem quite right then she will actually count/time the beats. So everything is still looking good.

Cathy asked if I have been having any swelling and I haven't had anything to complain about. She asked how I was sleeping and that answer continues to be not very well. I still have nightmares or at least less-than-pleasant vivid dreams every night. I have learned to cope by napping on my lunch break and sleeping all I want on the weekend. I am surviving and I don't really expect it to improve anytime in the near future.

All is well. We will see Dr. Wonderful in just over two weeks and we continue to feel hopeful. We are still not so hopeful that we are willing to bring anything baby related into the house and we rarely discuss names. As far as I am concerned "Little Butterfly" will work just fine between birth and when we come up with a name. I have thought we might have a Naming Ceremony like they do in The Gambia where I was a Peace Corps Volunteer. (typically when the child is one week old - Don't worry, LB, we won't shave your head). We have also asked friends not to plan any baby showers until after LB is born. We may change our minds on these things, I suppose. In the meantime, we are taking it one day at a time and are content to enjoy today.


Busted said...

I think it is so wonderful that you take care not to act in ways that may hurt those who aren't pregnant. I'm so glad to hear your little one is doing well.

Fertilized said...

I Love your term Little Butterfly, How precious. Even more thrilled to hear that you are just content today.

Geohde said...

I agree, I think feeling movement is just the best, and I often find it hard to go to sleep at night if one of the babies starts up in there.

It's wonderful to read that things continue to go well with the pregnancy, and it's very thoughtful of you to think of others who are going through IF when in public,


singletracey said...

You know.. I always tell myself. DO NOT BE ONE OF THOSE BELLY RUBBERS. My cousin was .. seriously it was like a magnetic attraction, hand to belly. Way to be considerate of the IF cousin! UGH.

Anyhoo, glad LB is doing great. I am also glad that you are too ;-)

Familyof2 said...

You will be my model of how not to act in the coming months!

Don't evict that little one too soon because then you really will miss those comforting movements that come along with his rental :)

B said...

Glad things are going well with LB, I bet those movements are great, I dream about what that might feel like.

MrsSpock said...

I love the movements. I totally admit to staying awake to feel them. It would worry the crap out of me to not feel them when I expect to.

I wonder if the bad dreams thing is pregnancy related. Since the 2nd tri I have frequent nightmares and yell and moan in my sleep a lot. Maybe all the extra fear being dealt with on a subconscious level?

niobe said...

I know exactly what you mean about nightmares every night.

Working Girl said...

The beauty of the 40 week gestation is by the time you reach the end you have become more comfortable with your new role as Mom!!! You were right to mourn your losses and right to question your decision. I know you will be a great Mom. BTW - great doesn't mean perfect!!!