Monday, March 30, 2009

Perfect Moment Monday

Several months ago I heard an author talking about her new book about happiness based on her own research (the name of the book or the author escapes me). She found that the things we do to make us happy eventually become the new normal and no longer bring us joy. (In case your wondering, she said things like infertility never stop losing their negative impact.)

Well last Friday, I was given the opportunity to appreciate anew something I had grown accustomed to. As I mentioned before, LB tends to wake up every hour and a half to nurse. We have been following some of the No Cry Sleep Solution guidelines and seem to be making progress (she sometimes sleeps for 2 hours in a row), but Thursday night it took extra long to get her back to sleep and by the time she was asleep, I was wide awake.

By Friday night, I was emotional and grumpy from too little sleep and dreading another short night. At the last moment, we decided it would be worth it for me to get a good night's sleep in a nearby hotel. If I stayed at home, I would hear her wake up and would feel compelled to comfort her and nurse her. I was worried about LB becoming very upset, but I knew we needed to do something different. I also knew Brad would be able do a great job and while I believed she would get very upset when she couldn't get a nipple when she wanted one, I knew she would be comforted and cared for.

At around 8:30 pm, Brad started calling around for a reasonably priced hotel while I tried to nurse LB to sleep. I was so relieved and even excited. A night to sleep in any position I wanted! Imagine! Oh, I should probably mention that we co-sleep. Also, while trying to ween her from her nightly comfort feedings, I have let her sleep with a leg on me. If the leg falls off and she can't get it back on (because my back is toward her, for example), she wakes up. So I was really looking forward to tossing and turning as I pleased.

I was also, I realized going to miss LB. I held her extra close as she nursed. I stroked her head. I just sat there and noticed how absolutely wonderful it was to have this little body next to mine. I thought about how all too soon she won't be beyond nursing and how she will one day not only sleep in her own bed, but in her own house.

Brad came in to let me know what he learned - only the most expensive hotel in the area still had a room and it was a bit too far away for my comfort. I was a disappointed, but we decided we would go one more night and then get the hotel room on Saturday.

I felt more at peace just knowing that tomorrow I would get a good night's sleep and tonight I could cuddle with LB all I wanted. When I woke up during the night I was able to appreciate her leg on top of me and enjoy it in a way I haven't in weeks. And whether it was my extreme fatigue, my peace in knowing tomorrow night's sleep would be better, or LB catching on to our plan, the most amazing thing happened. We slept 2 - 3 hours at a time, only waking up 3 times! It was the best night's sleep I have gotten since she was born. Two more nights have passed and we have been sleeping quite well. We still wake up about 3 times, but having 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep - sometimes twice in the same night - has been glorious.

What's better than capturing a perfect moment then capturing one you get to enjoy every night if you only remember to appreciate it? Perhaps noticing and appreciating what I had - a beautiful daughter to care for at night - helped me to gain something I was missing - a better night's sleep.

If you want to read about perfect moments other people have capture, head over to Lori's Blog. Happy Monday!


Peeveme said...

I hope this is something that keep happening. I would haev felt the exact same way as you...excited at the thought of getting some good sleep...but sad becasue I would miss my little girl. Conflicted seems to be the constant state of motherhood.

Kristin said...

Beautiful story. Sometimes when you are in the midst of the exhaustion, its hard to appreciate the little things.

Lori said...

What a great solution, to change it up a bit. It enabled you to be more present with LB and find more peace together.

Lovely post. And thanks for your sweet comment on mine today :-).

Leah and Maya said...

Sleeo is magical, my body is used to getting it for the most part and when Maya was sick and I missed a ton of it it just makes everything harder. Thank goodness for good sleepers, sorry but its just so much easier, ha ha. Surely soon it will get warm and we can go and ride th carousel horses. I"m off to the naturalpath tomorrow and then followup friday, Joe's home to watch Maya, I will let you know what I learn.

Dreaming Soul said...

What a lovely post!

Sara said...

Oh Kami, I feel for you about the lack of sleep. I didn't get more than two hours of sleep in Eggbert's first 11 months or so. We're doing great now, but it was a long hard road to get here. I found that once I stopped bf on demand in the middle of the night (at about 11 months, I think), she was suddenly perfectly capable of sleeping through the night. I had known that she was, but I couldn't cut her off from the boob at night before she was ready. I tried at 9 months, and it was a debacle. But at 11 months (or maybe 10.5, I'm not sure), she gave one or two whimpers the first time that I held her and told her that it was time for sleep, not milk, and that she would get milk in the morning, and then that was it. She started just rolling over and going back to sleep when she woke up. I had imagined a total nightmare (we cosleep too, and I wasn't ready to cry it out, but I was at the end of my rope), but it was absolutely fine. I know you're not there yet, but I'm just saying that it DOES get better, and that you can still have that beautiful cosleeping experience AND get a good night's sleep.

Fertilized said...

Aw sweet post. Good Luck Kami

Furrow said...

Oh, I so know that feeling, of wanting the space and then dreading it. I'm glad you're getting a bit more sleep.

musicmakermomma said...

Kami - I'm so glad LB seems to be doing well; but IF you decide you want to try the night away, come stay with us! We have a guestroom (not as nice as a hotel - but cheaper too!) I would love to have you anytime.