Monday, July 19, 2010

Perfect Moment Monday: Water

I have decided that one of the reasons I am not blogging as much lately is that I am too tired to string more that a few words together at a time.  How tired?  Sufficiently tired that yesterday morning - after 9 hours in bed - I was able to fall back asleep 4 of the 5 times I was woken up between 6 am and 7 am. 

I'm not complaining. Well, I am, but it is still worth it.

I want to follow up on that article in the previous post.  I'm not getting around to it so to put it simply and bluntly:
  • I appreciated the comments.  Thank you.
  • I agree with the comments - parenthood is rewarding, I don't regret having kids and I don't take enough time to myself (RJ - I mentally went on that solo bike ride with you)
  • Parenthood does well in studies that measure rewarding vs pleasurable activities.  That's great and all, but why shouldn't it be happier moment to moment too?
  • I wonder how infertile parents would compare to fertile ones.  I suspect we would would score better on all counts.
  • I think more time to myself is key.
  • I think lack of sleep is a big contributor to my feelings of sadness.
  • I think I am grieving the loss again of my easy-to-conceive-genetic-child-born-gently-at-home.  Or I'm just tired and this is something to pin "the blues" on.
  • After trying to notice the times I am happily parenting and not-so-happily parenting I have decided that the good times beat out the not-so-good times by around 10 to 1.
  • Which brings me to this weeks Perfect Moment Monday.
I was watering the plants around the patio when LB asked to take over.  I gave her the hose and for the next 30 minutes sat on the step while she flooded my herb garden, watered the patio, herself, the cat (well, tried), the firepit and a bench.  As she dragged the house around she would occasionally drag it right over a plant or two.

Sitting on that step in the warm summer air and watching my two year old get soaked from head to toe while potentially doing damage to the plants I worked so hard to plant and cultivate . . . well, it was wonderful.  I thought, "This is what I imagined and longed for for all of those years - moments like this."  I makes you remember how something so simple as water coming out of a hose can be so much fun.


Lori Lavender Luz said...

I needed to read this perfect moment because I am the type of mom who would focus on the ruined plants, the extra laundry, the wet foundatio of the house.

Instead of finding the perfection.

And on this, I'm with you: "I think more time to myself is key."

Rachel said...

What a wonderful story..and a wonderful imagine you created for us as we read this... thank you we forget about the small precious things in like like little ones watering gardens

R. said...

Such a great image, I can picture LB soaked and watering the plants. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for finding the "perfectness" in this moment! I, like Lavender Luz, would probably be freaking out about the plants etc. But, in the end it's about spending time with family and cultivating relationships..not just flowers :)

battynurse said...

I'm picturing LB with the hose and trying to get the cat and it's such a cute image.
I think you likely have a point though as far as the happiness levels being affected by tiredness. I know if I'm overly tired I can barely function, am more likely to cry at the drop of a hat and get more upset or angry quicker. And I don't have kids. Hope you get some sleep soon.

Leah Maya Benjamin said...

well you know me would have gotton into trouble about the cat and definetly would have been redirected and not flooded any good plants. All is well, yay sunshine!!!!

Me said...

Your Perfect Moment Monday posts never cease to make me smile. They always remind me to not forget to enjoy the simple pleasures.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kami,

Although not a parent (yet?!), I would not beat myself up that I am tired and that raising children is exhausting. I am certain that I will feel the same way and am also certain grief will rear its ugly head once in a while to make things worse. Grief seems to be at its worst when we're tired. Although I don't get a sense that you are deeply mourning just that you're tired but still able to enjoy the tender moments of raising children...the moments you deserve after all these years. Love your candid blog posts. And get some rest or a pedi or something!!! ;)