Tuesday, June 30, 2009

It is Tuesday

Alternate title: I bet you've never read a post like this before.

Today is Tuesday. As in just Tuesday. It isn't XDPO (days post ovulation) or even XDP5DT (days post 5 day transfer). It is just Tuesday.

At least I keep telling myself that. This is my easy cycle. The one where I don't get my hopes up.

I am getting my hopes up.

I'm trying my best to enjoy the possibility without getting too invested, but I'm not sure I haven't crossed the line. It's kind of like buying a lottery ticket. You don't really expect to win, but it can be fun to dream about what you would do with the million dollars if you did. Of course, at $1.00, the lottery is pretty cheap entertainment for a few days.

It is just Tuesday. I couldn't even tell you how many days post transfer I am (4) or how many days until the beta (5). It is just Tuesday.

I will admit to hearing the siren song of the HPT - the draw to test only to be crashed against the rocks of a single pink line. I thought I would be spared it this time around, maybe only testing the morning of the beta so I will be prepared for the BFN. Sadly, I hear them calling me already. Today, in a moment of insanity, I tore apart the bathroom cupboards looking for the two left over home pregnancy tests I swear I have. I would ask Brad if (where) he hid them, but I don't want to admit I have been so tempted.

I found the ones we used when LB was conceived. Our first positive was 11 DPO. It was a very light line so it would be overly optimistic to test before then which would be the day after tomorrow whenever that would be.

It's all good. Really, it is. If this doesn't work, we get to try again with my eggs in September. Belinda is excited to get to donate again too. We still have one more (and much better) chance at a sibling. But still, it would be really nice if it worked this time around.

16 comments:

battynurse said...

So I have to admit that I'm chuckling a bit since I to some extent know this feeling. This feeling of believing it probably won't work so I won't think about it but not being able to stop thinking about it. Hope the next few days go by quickly and hoping that luck and all other good things will be on your side. hugs to you.

Miss Conception said...

Thinking of you and hoping for the rest of your wait to slide by. What a ride this is, isn't it?

Sky said...

I almost forgot that you, too, are in the "2WW" (which is really just 9 days with a 5dt). You're one day ahead of me.

But, I'm confused - and I'm certainly not a pro at this
so please forgive my stupidity if I'm all wrong here.

Didn't you transfer on Friday? Wouldn't that make today 4dp5dt?

Because I'm considering my Saturday transfer a 3dp5dt.

Anyway, there's a part of me that believes 3dp5dt is definitely not going to show a line, no matter how faint. There's another part of me that believes any negative test today definitely means it's over.

The only thing more difficult than the 2WW was waiting a total of 8 months to find a donor and cycle.

Crossing my fingers for us both Kami. Wouldn't it be sweet, indeed, if we were done with it THIS TIME!

Kami said...

Sky, your right! It is only 4DP5DT. Wishful thinking. At least the beta really is only 5 days away.

It would be great if it worked for both of us.

Fertilized said...

I love the humor and hope in this post. Hoping for you Kami

Sunny said...

I don't think it's possible to go through what we do during ART without feeling at least a bit hopeful for each cycle.

But if you find away to get around that, please do share.

My IUI+Follistim starts in July, and I am already bursting with hope.

I hate it.

Geohde said...

You are a stronger woman than I.

g

Leah said...

Nope, nope, never read a post like that before. (not) I'm nice and calm about it all too for you. Sure, sure. No need for one (or 20) of those silly little hpts (PLEASE TEST ON THURSDAY!).

Leah and Maya said...

I can't believe you didn't drive tot he store and get one, of thats right blasted vacations have him at home!!!! too funny I think everyone understands goign thru this, its just sickening isnt' it, and of course you have to gets your hopes up, its something that you want so you have to hope for it even though you know ther's always the possibility os it crushing you, as we have had happen.

musicmakermomma said...

If you need me to bring you an HPT let me know! I am hopeful for you (and me) even though I'm really trying not to get too involved...Whatever! Good luck hon.

Me said...

*giggle*

Frenchie said...

Hoping after all you've been through, you get an "easy one" this time around. You deserve to win the lottery!

definitionofinsanity said...

Got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you!

Andrea said...

Can you really blame yourself for getting your hopes up? Give yourself a little break! I'd feel the same way. In fact, I've felt the same way!

Tracey said...

I love this post! I am crossing everything for you guys...

MrsSpock said...

Oooooo...so have you given in to temptation yet?