Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Catching up

I can't believe it has been a week since I posted last - especially since I have been mentally composing this post for the whole week thinking I would get to it each day. Let's see if I can get this done and actually posted (I didn't - it is now more than a week).

First of all, work has been exhausting. Not so much the working part of it, but the fact that I try to have LB napping while I am working so that means I don't usually get one. I wake her up earlier than she wants to be up, put her back to sleep about 9:00, wake her up at 11:30, play with her until 1:00 and then attempt to nurse her back to sleep. I hate her being on a schedule and not being able to sleep whenever she wants. What other time of life can you do that? She shouldn't have to grow up so early. It has also effected how well we EC because I am too tired to be fully in tune with her and she doesn't signal as much because I am not responding as well.

Speaking of EC'ing, I had a few people ask how she communicates that she has to go potty. Over the week, I have realized that I have used two main ways of predicting that: timing and her cues. If she seem just a bit agitated and it has been a bit (2o min or more?) I will offer her the potty first. If she goes I give her a big, "Yea! We went pee pee in the potty!" If she gets more upset and stays that way for more than a couple of seconds then I will go on to something else. If I catch her peeing when not on the potty, I will at least make a ssssss sound (I will make this sound as she goes in the potty too). Some of the ways she looks a bit agitated are: going from smiles to fussy sounds, pulling off the nipple while nursing, and not content to be in a sling. I am having a harder time catching her poops. She will sometimes signal me the same way she does when she needs to pee, but just as often my only clue is that she becomes quiet and looks off to one side. If I put her on the potty and say "pooooooop" (like a grunting sound) sometimes she goes and sometimes she will go . . . in a few to 20 minutes. I just don't have the patience for that. For now, I put her in what I have started calling her "favorite pooping chair". It is a little seat with a mobile arching over her. I think it is like reading a book for us adults - she looks at the mobiles, relaxes and out it comes. I will watch her and say "pooooop" as she goes. I'm not sure how I am going to transition her to a potty yet.

How is that for going on and on about bodily functions? Who would have thought?

On to other things . . .

Does anyone know anything about Great Wall adoption agency? I have a friend looking into it. What is one thing you would tell someone just starting to explore adoption? Thanks in advance for any thoughts / advice for my friend.


Some thoughts on my mind tonight:
  • It is an anniversary for Brad and I. Fourteen years ago today I realized we were great together. He is coming home tonight from Salt Lake City. I can't wait to go pick him up. I am smiling because I will be taking our daughter with me. This is another "this time next year" reminder - picking Brad up at the airport with a child.
  • Two years ago today, I miscarried at home. It was our second miscarriage and I thought it was better to let things happen naturally. That night, I changed my mind. A d&c is quick and easy. I will spare you the details, but that night I lost enough blood that I thought I was going to die. Seriously. The bleeding had stopped (thanks to some herbal remedy from my midwife - I should have called her sooner), but Brad had woken me up after a couple hours to make sure. I was light headed because of the blood loss and having just woken up. I told Brad that I was going to die and he didn't believe me. I remember thinking how sad it was that I was going to die and Brad would realize it too late. Of course, I was fine and Brad could clearly see that. Now I think it is funny. Especially when I called the hospital and woke up the OB on call who told me I was fine. I thanked him like he just saved my life. Lesson learned though. If I ever need to make that choice again (not to tempt the fertility gods here), I will choose the d&c - in and out in under 4 hours and feeling fine the next day. It took weeks to recover from the miscarriage. Proof that "natural" isn't always better. However, in my case at least, natural is much cheaper. The d&c cost us about $1500 out of pocket.
  • I'm tired, but I'm happy.


Lanie at Fertile Fantasy has nominated me for a Pink Rose award. She is another DE blogger who has just found out that her cycle resulted in a BFP and may even be twins. Take a moment, if you will, to pop over and congratulate her.

The idea behind Pink Rose award is to honor a person who has inspired someone (or needs to be inspired), or because they’ve encouraged someone in some way. I feel very honored to be chosen by Lanie.

I am going to pass this on to a couple of bloggers that have meant something special to me. Heck, I think I could pick at least 20, but time is short so I am going to nominate just two.

1) B at The Shifty Shadow. She also lost a child late in a pregnancy and like me it is taking her a long time to have that healthy baby. Not that having a healthy baby ever replaces the first one who was also much loved, but I believe - and it has been my personal experience - that having a living child to care for does help heal those wounds. My heart aches for her as she continues on this journey. She is also the most amazing writer. Everything she says is so eloquent - I can't even describe it. Pop over and read a few posts, but be prepared to need some kleenex and to leave feeling thoughtful.

2) Lori at Weebles Wbblog. I have nominated her before, but she still pops into my head pretty often. She has the most amazing relationship with her childs first mom (birth mom). Whenever I get nervous about raising a non genetically related child or maintaining a relationship with LB's donor, I think about her and know we will find out way.

If you would like to nominate someone for a Pink Rose award the details are below. Please note that you do not need to be nominated first. Of course, some of us take a little more prodding.

Here's what to do:
1. On your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: http://smartone.typepad.com/smartone/2008/05/pink-is-my-favo.html. You will find the story behind the Pink Rose Award and other graphics to choose from there.
2. Select as many award recipients as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chosen them.
3. Let them know that you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
4. If you are selected, pass it on by giving the Pink Rose Award to others.
5. If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
6. You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.


MrsSpock said...

I've been trying to pay attention and see if I can tell if J is going to pee or poo. He usually makes a "poop face" that is easy to discern, but I have no luck with the pee thing. Well, except for the fact that a boy will have a baby woody when he has a full bladder.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

Oh, goodness. There's so much to respond to here.

Starting with Mrs Spock's funny observation.

Next: Thanks for continuing to talk about EC. I find it fascinating to hear your experiences -- I had never heard of that when I was a new parent.

I don't know about Great Wall -- is it an international agency? I would suggest your friend join a group for that type of adoption and see what others familiar with them have to say. I wrote about what to look for in a domestic agency -- let me know if you'd like that link (it's also on Stirrup Queens' Operation Heads Up).

Happy reunion and anniversary! We are on the same year :-).

Finally, the Pink Rose Award means a lot to me. Thanks so much for your kind words -- I am humbled.

And I think Lanie has great taste in bloggers.

Summer said...

Thanks for posting details on EC. Quite fascinating. (Hmmm...did I just say peeing and pooping were fascinating?)

I know of a one blogger who had a bad experience with GWCA. I don't know if it's an isolated incident or not. She blogged about it, but she got a lot of bad reactions, trolls, etc. and I think she took her site down. I will email you what I know about her current blog.

Marthavmuffin said...

Dont be too hard on yourself about putting LB on a schedule. I read alot about it, and did it with my daughter at 4 months and she did great. She is still on a schedule as far as naps and sleeping go =she goes to bed at 8pm every night and gets up 12 hours later. It's good for her to get that sleep and good for her parents to get some adult time. And you gotta do what you gotta do.

AwkwardMoments said...

I am slightly jealous of your daughter on a schedule. I tried the scheduling thing and My boy wanted nothing to do with it. Maybe I should try again. Alot of the books are all for schedules. Whatever it takes for you to get threw the day is what is best

I agree with Mrsspock and hte lil boy woodything- that is when I can tellhe is going to pee when doing a diaper change.

Pooping is easy - he gets all redfaced - It's quite funny.

AwkwardMoments said...

Oh as for the GWCA, I went to a few of their meet/greet seminars a few yrs ago, filled an application but never went any farther because they started having requirements that my husband and I just could not meet at the time

Anonymous said...

After Dr T "allowing" me to do the natural mc because HE didn't want to do the D&C I have to agree with you. I think the trauma from this latest escapade was worse than the others because of how it played out...thus the hardest to get over.

Good luck with the EC! I hope it gets easier as she gets older and that your sleepiness resolves its self too!

m said...

I have no problem admitting my fascination with all things poop. And I am so thankful that you're posting your experiences - both good and learning - as you go through the process. I am intrigued.

Happy anniversaries - so nice to be celebrating them as a threesome.

B said...

Hey Kami

Thanks for the pink rose - I was tickled, well, pink!

And i have an extensive vocabulary for describing all things bodily thanks to years of working with people with all sorts of disability.

Eg. a staffroom conversation joking about when I used to do personal care (yes dreaded enemas). I believe we laughed about needing a head torch and going in with a pick axe and sending a canary on up ahead. All while eating our lunch.

There's not much I can't do.

I am glad you are finding healing hanging out with LB. I can tell that from your writing and feel happy that she has brought you this gift.

Happy catching


Kate said...

Sounds like you are busier than ever! You sound so content with your life right now! Happy Anniversary!