Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thoughts On My Mind

Just some random bullet points because I haven't updated in a bit and I just don't seem to have much time.
  • Work. Ug. It has been overwhelmingly busy and I am feeling burned out. I have been in tears twice this week (thankfully, I work from home). No doubt some of that is hormones. I have as many open issues and my high performing coworkers who work twice the number of hours. I am not providing our customers with the level of support I think is adequate and it stresses me out. I have talked to my manager and we are trying to free up some of my time, but the thought keeps crossing my mind: Should I quit?
  • Budget / spending wise I can't afford to quit unless we do something more drastic like refinance our house and incorporate those outstanding fertility treatment bills (now on low interest credit cards).
  • Healthcare: Why is it the experts who talk about what works and doesn't work in terms of our current healthcare system seem and healthcare systems in general seem to live in a completely different world than our politicians who are charged with fixing the mess? do these people not talk to each other? Sure, politicians have to worry about the financial cost when the big idea people don't - but compare the cost to the Iraq war. Dear politicians: Do what is right not what gets you financial support.
  • Eating habits are still poor. I am addicted to my 10:00 am junk food. Yesterday was a wake up call - I am only 10 pounds from where I was when I delivered LB and LBII needs to cook for another 18 weeks. I also got a haircut - 30 minutes looking at my chubby face. Must. Do. Better.
  • As all parents, I worry about LB's development. With IVF and ICSI and DE I wonder about all the 'unnatural' influences. She doesn't have as many verbal words as I thought she would by now (16.5 months and 5? words). Then I realized she was signing two word sentences like "Where daddy" or "Where phone" or "More cheese". Of course, it really shouldn't matter. She is who she is and I need to remember and live that thought.
  • The EC (elimination communication) is going well. She almost always signs when she has to go number 2. She normally doesn't sign when she has to go #1 until she is the middle of going. Still, we offer the potty enough during the day that when we are home she wears panties and no diaper. Sometimes she will refuse the potty and then we have a 'miss' a few minutes later, but I suppose that is all part of the learning process.
  • We got LB some foam blocks. I find them so relaxing. It is a chance to be peaceful and creative. That is until Babyzilla comes by with a "Woah ho ho!" and knocks them all down. Good times.


Me said...

Babyzilla. Ha!

sarah said...

I hear ya sister.

Leah Maya Benjamin said...

little depressed today, stupid hormones!!!! yes i had some yogurt and then some cake mix mixed with water for breakfast and then lied to my child while I was eating it (it looked like vanilla yogurt)
she won't talk as much if she signs, I lvoe the signing but thats why my brother in law would not let me sign while I was taking care of Jacob, becasue their frined had done it and their child wouldn't talk. She's not very old yet, just add in after she shows you the sign "tell me" then when she talkes better you can faze in and out of signing. This works good if she wants something liek a treat of course you would actually have to follow thru "tell me_____" and dont' give it to her. or just wait. I got so tired of jacob wnating up and wouldn't say up that I refused until he would say it, there was crying and such but it didn't take too long.

Lorraine said...

LB will be fine - slow is okay as long as you are exposing her to lots of language throughout the day. Studies show that the number of words a child encounters are the best predictor of language learning. Of course, it's prudent to keep an eye on these things, but don't stress too much if you know her perceived language is growing.

Other than that, the finance thing is just bad all around. I am hoping to work in my sleep at this point. Think any clients will go for that?