Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Crazy talk

Since my last post I have mentally composed several "I am going to cycle with my eggs" posts as well as "I'm not going to cycle with my eggs" posts. I am so bad at making these kinds of decision. Pathetic.

Here is where I am at right now. I want to do it. Even though it doesn't make sense. Even though it may not help in the long run in terms of closure. If I was reading my blog, I would be telling myself it let it go and move on.

So I pick up the phone to call my clinic to let them know. And then I put it down again realizing that I am too embarrassed to tell them. Of course they know I have been thinking about it, but until I commit, I can preted it was a moment of weakness. "Oh that?! That was just crazy talk. I never really want to cycle with my eggs at 41! Ha ha ha!"

Maybe that is why it has been so hard to decide. I am trying to talk myself out of what I want to do in favor of what I feel I should do.

Care to talk me out of it?


Tracey said...

I wish I could talk you out of it.. but I understand the insanity of it, the hopes of success (since it does happen to others). UGH.. Believe me, 10 times a day I wonder if I should be doing IUI's on myself in hopes of success at SOME point.

I will tell you that whatever decision you make, I am rooting for your success! {{hugs}}

Peeveme said...

You clearly want to do it so I think you should!. If the $ isn't a real issue for you then what is? Looking stupid to your RE staff? The worst thing that can happen is that it does not work. You've been there. Done that. Survived it.

Sorry, I can't talk you out of it. I could try but I really don't think you want me to.

You seem to have the financial and emotional reserves to do this. So why not?

battynurse said...

I agree that this is something that you really seem to want to do. The only thing I think I would ask myself is "if it doesn't work how will I feel about it?" If the answer is that you will feel relieved that you gave it one last try then go for it.

niobe said...

Not that my opinion matters, but if it's what you really want, I think you should do it.

Sarah said...

why not? Clearly you want to, and means a lot to you,so why not? The worst that can happen is that it won't work.
As else said, that is known experience.

Sara said...

I don't think it's insane. It's unlikely to succeed, but you know that. Sorry I can't give you that stern talking-to that you want, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad decision. The only reasons NOT to do it are money and the potential grief it it doesn't work, so if you can handle both of those issues, then I think you should go for it.

(I may very well cycle again in a year, when I'll be 41, so if you're crazy, then I am too.)

Flo said...

I agree with all the others that you should do it, especially since you now have the FSH results back as well!

I find myself mentioning it to Jonny: wouldn't it be nice if we could just make a baby the old fashioned way? Or, given that we can't, try again with my own eggs?

Will read up on the other posts now (quickly since I am at work and somehow can only access blogspots at work, must be a different proxy server?)!