Thanks to Lori over at Weebles Wobblog, I am capturing perfect moments during the week. I say thanks to her, because it reminds to appreciate those perfect moments. This week there were several. I decided to share one involving LB
I was at an adult party with 7 of our good friends. LB is young enough that I can still take her with us to these get togethers. An hour or so into the evening, LB was so tired, but everytime she was about to fall asleep something would catch her attention and she would be awake again. I decided to withdraw to another room. I went into a spare bedroom and nursed her while I rocked her and sang lullibies. I could hear the party in the next room and was reminded of the times I would withdraw from these same good friends during similar parties because I just couldn't handle one more minute of socializing. I was so very sad and I didn't have the energy to fake happy. It's not that they wouldn't have understood, but I didn't want to bring everyone down. So I would step away for a bit and let the sadness hold me . . . or perhaps flow through me . . . until I was ready to socialize again.
Here I was in such a similar, yet entirely different situation. I could feel both of me for that moment - the one that would be so sad and the one that was here, in the present, rocking my child and singing her lullabies. I closed my eyes and felt my body - my feet on the floor, LB tucked up against me and nursing, the vibrations as I sang.
Merry/Happy Christmas
1 day ago
7 comments:
*sigh* that is a wonderful perfect moment to share.
I like the way you juxtapose the sadness with the happiness. And the full circle you've experienced between them.
Isn't it nice to step back and see and feel the happiness instead of the sadness that used to come at the same moments. How would it have been to ride the carousel without children, we would have both been crying well actually I wouldn't have went in I'm sure but instead we went around and around with our beautiful little girls, GO infertile Mommies
One certainly begets the other. The rub of it is you have to truly feel one to experience the other.
I remember having those moments before. It is good to feel free of them now.
That does sound like a lovely moment.
xx
J
Sounds lovely.
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