Absence and a fonder heart

Yeah, I am missing my hubby pretty badly right now. Tomorrow morning it will be four full days since I saw him last. I am sorry to all those who are separated from their loves for really long times - I know it is like a fertile saying, "It took me 6 WHOLE months to get pregnant. So stop reading if you are going to be disgusted. I am about to go on and on about how wonderful my dear husband is.

Brad is the most wonderful, kind and patient person. He is the optomist that balances my pessimism. He is my touchstone. I miss laughing together and reading to each other and just the feeling of his skin next to mine. I miss the way he makes fun of me (playfully) when I am not tidy - "Are you done with this wrapper that has been on the counter for two days?" I love the way he calls me his "little trooper" as in, "Buck up, little trooper!" I miss the way he knows just when to say, "All is well" or "Everything will be ok."

I love that he is a part of my life - and I only have him to thank. He pursued me in our early days for much longer than most men. One of his best friends said I was a dead horse and he needed to move on. Even after we started dating, I sometimes freaked out because it was getting too serious too fast (by fast I mean we had known each other for 1.5 years and dating for about 6 months). Yeah, I was scared of a serious relationship. Whenever I would get too nervous, he would just ask, "Are you having fun?" To which I always replied, "Yes." His reply was, "Good. When you stop having fun, let me know and I will walk away." I remember how his eyes lit up and his body acted like I had just breathed life into it when I finally had the courage to say, "I love you."

I remember one time he was holding my hand, lifted our hands to the sky and said, "You love me, you just don't know it yet!" I didn't know it then, but I do know it now.

Thank you, Brad, for sticking it out and helping me realize that we could be so good together. Thank you for putting up with my messiness, for taking more "Bradley time" than you get, for listening to me work out issues about infertility even though you have heard the same things over and over and over again. Thank you for picking me up off of the floor and keeping me breathing in those dark days after we lost Ernest - to your own detriment at times. Thank you for reminding me how lucky we really are. I love you!