Monday, August 6, 2007

A bump in the road

I am calling this a temporary set back. I know I will get over it quickly. I thought "talking" about it would help.

Today I was insulted by a fellow infertile. I was called selfish and unwilling to help other infertiles. Since I have taken it as my personal responsibility to do what I can to raise awareness about infertility and to reach out - both on the internet and in real life - to people dealing with infertility, the insults really cut to the core. It was prompted by a misunderstanding - a post I had made that was read in a way I didn't intend. I apologized and attempted to clarify my statement. Then I was insulted.

This is the first time I have been treated so badly by a fellow infertile. It is painful to go to a place where I expect support and understanding, arriving with my guard down, to get a knife in the heart. Perhaps I am naive. I thought that we were friends simply because we shared the road of infertility. I thought I was safe from hurtful comments among those perceived friends.

Live and learn I guess. Fortunately, one of the things I have learned along this path is that I can choose the people I interact with. This is one person I don't need to be around in the future. Thankfully, I have met some really wonderful people since I started exploring the blogosphere.

Thank you Belinda, Leah and Lori and Irish Girl and Sully and Kim and PJ and Meg and Mel and Laura and Geohde and Farah and Jill and so many others!

12 comments:

Inconceivable said...

Well, that just hurts my heart! I HATE when you think you are in safe place only to find that someone "feels the need" to express their unintelligence all over you!

SULLY said...

You are welcome for the small amount of support I am able to give :) I often wonder if I say the wrong thing!

As for the person you insulted...YOU tried to correct the action. That is the best you can do. You took the high road, and that person took the low. Don't spend another moment on this negative thought.

Onward and upward!

Hugs

Lori said...

GAH. Those negative interactions, even when counter-balanced by a thousand positive ones, really stick in your craw.

I'm sorry you were misunderstood and insulted.

Hugs from me, too.

(And also for the person who hurt you. She may be in a lot of pain, too.)

Anonymous said...

Nill illigitimi carborundum

Jenna said...

Kami, I'm sorry this incident upset you. I hope you will not feel guarded in what you share because of it. The whole journey of IF makes people come together, but it can also make us fall apart at times. I hope that what happened was just a small bump in the road and that you two can find your way to the same path again.

Meg said...

Kami that just rots. I am sorry someone was so insensitive and you were misunderstood. Ugh that ticks me off.

Foreverhopeful said...

Thanks for your nice comment on my blog.. :) Good luck with your ED cycle.

I'm so sorry about the insult from someone you least expected it from. This should be a safe place to get support and you should not have to deal with people like that. IF is hard enough.. we all need all the love and support we can get.

Pamela Jeanne said...

I'm so sorry that you were stung. That's so not cool. I think people who participate here really need to cut everyone a little more slack. We're all going through this at our own pace, on our own terms and with our own worries and fears. For someone to lash out at a fellow infertile, well it's just mean. Take a deep breath and know that we're still here for you...

Kami said...

Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts! I want to clarify that is wasn't someone who posted a comment on my blog, but someone I had known in a chat room.

Irish Girl said...

Sorry I'm coming in late on this one!!! I'm here for you and support you 110%++++. And I thank you very sincerely for your support too.

Be well, friend!

Changing Expectations said...

Thanks for your support on my blog!

I am sorry to hear that this person felt insulted - you didn't intend it that way - don't take her words to heart.

Hang in there.

Geohde said...

I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience. I have been lucky thus far to have only positive ones.....

I guess it just goes to show that 'something in common' doesn't = 'always agree'.

xx

J