Friday, August 24, 2007

In real life connections

I have recently emailed my clinic to ask them to pass on my name and contact information to anyone doing DE this cycle. I was hoping for an IRL cycle buddy. Her response was
This can be a little touchy due to patient confidentiality. I promise if anyone else going donor egg this series says anything to me about wanting something like this I will pass on your name and number to them.
I just don't think most people will think to ask. Which got me thinking maybe I could just post it somewhere . . . which made me wonder if other people would then post too.

What do you think? Would you post your contact information at your clinic? Would you contact someone who posted her information?

Maybe my clinic is just behind the times. It just occurred to me that an electronic bulletin board would be so much better. Does your clinic have online chat forums available? If so, do you use it?

Depending on the response I get, I might just try to encourage my clinic to do something similar.

11 comments:

Pam said...

I'm sure if I were to say the same to my clinic I'd get the same response. Perhaps you can ask if they have a support group for anyone doing DE. That way you could meet others and then you'd find out about who was cycling when. We're doing a shared cycle and I'm really curious about the other couple who will be getting the other half of our donor's eggs. After all our children will be half-siblings. But I've not raised the idea of possibly meeting this couple with my husband or my clinic. Good luck.

Fertilize Me said...

Have you tried to look at IVFconnections.com ? they have catagories by treatment, states, RE's and such. Look there and see if that helps any. You can ALWAYS contact Resolve.Org they may be able to help also

Jill said...

Yeah, I'm not surprised - I don't think a clinic would be up for doing that b/c of the privacy stuff...

But I would think that they could offer a once a week "support group" or something... or offer a monthly "meet others" kind of thing...

You know you'd probably find people on FF if you wanted to go back there at all..

SULLY said...

HIPPA would very likely prevent the Clinic from having their own "chat boards" Also that would open them up for criticism, and potential anger issues.

I do think getting together IRL is an excellent idea...but I don't think the clinic is where to do it...I would look and see if Craigslist is active in your area, or even simply begin a dialog with others in the clinic...nurses, patients, etc...say "hey on X date I will be at X...I am starting a support group..." You never know what you may begin!

Sarah & Korry said...

Hi there!

I'm new to reading your blog...stumbled across it on a link from another blog I read.

I am in the middle of my 2ww after having my 3dt from donor eggs last week. I am only 32, but was diagnosed with ovarian failure after going off the pill 3 years ago (total shock as I had no idea anything was wrong). I would be happy to answer any questions you have about what my DE cycle (my first) was like. It took place in Seattle. I know that I corresponded with another blogger before I began my cycle to ask her questions, and found it really helpful! She has since had twins, which was also encouraging : )

Kami said...

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I have checked IVF Connections for my region. The only response I got was a perky, "I would love to talk about my first IVF". Yeah - she was successful.

I haven't checked into RESOLVE in about a year, might be worth another go.

I also started a local support group about 8 months ago. The brochures keep disappearing, but I get few takers. I've had other people look at the brochures and they think they are done well. I suspect most people think they are "almost done". I know I did for the first 4 years.

I had one couple I think we scared off with our story in the first meeting. They were just considering IVF and we had all those failures and losses. Kind of funny, in a way.

The good news I do have a couple wonderful local ladies that I get together with - one even doing DE (hopefully) in November. The other one is currently in Guatemala fostering her little girl while she waits for the adoption to go through.

I am just one connection junkie I think.

Sarah and Korry - Please email me!

Geohde said...

It's a shame that your clinic was so cagey. It *surely* even with privacy rules wouldn't have been hard to offer people the option without breaking confidentiality.

SUpport helps, after all, as does feeling less alone

RJ said...

IVFC has a very active local group in my town. However, 85% of them get PG on their first attempt. Good for them, but it quickly turns into a mom's group.

So, rather than aim for the face-to-face local stuff, I have relegated myself to some online communities (a yahoo group of fall cyclers, some FF vets, and, well, YOU, on IVFC).

Peace,
RJ

Good on you for trying to start something on your own!! Another option might be to work with a counselor to see if he or she would help facilitate a group.

Kristen said...

I would definitely post my email for other people to contact me. Not sure about my phone number and address but once the person emailed me and expressed interest, I would certainly go from there.

I think that was really nice of you to offer. My clinic doesn't have any sort of chat feature available. Come to think of it, they should.

Kudos to you for putting yourself out there for others. You are a doll!

Foreverhopeful said...

I think its great and brave you are trying to get connected to real life people. I think IF is so private and couples dont' often like to publicize about doing fertility treatments. And I'm sure the clinic just wants to respect patient privacy. Good luck finding more real life connections.

Irish Girl said...

I don't know where I stand on this one. Since I'm not currently in treatment I guess I'll refer back to when I was. I met with several ladies from the local Resolve chapter - most of whom were doing IVF. They are all (ALL) moms now which of course is wonderful. But it happened right away for most of them and left me feeling more alone. I doubt I'll try it again if/when we do IVF ourselves. But I'll be doing a lot of guarding myself of wrecked feelings at that point.

I hope you find others to connect with ... and I hope you're one of the women who gets pregnant right afterwards :)