Thursday, August 16, 2007

I'll take infertility, thank you.

There is nothing like a little perspective to help me appreciate how lucky I am.

Here is an article about women in Iraq who are prostituting themselves to feed their children.

It was this quote at the end of the article that really got to me:

Suha says as a young girl she dreamed of being a doctor, with her mom boasting about her potential in that career. Life couldn't have taken her further from that dream.

"It's not like we were born into this, nor was it ever in my blood," she says.

What she does for her family to survive now eats away at her. "I lay on my pillow and my brain is spinning, and it all comes back to me as if I am watching a movie."

I have often thought how far reality has taken me from my dream. I can also relate to my brain spinning and reliving past events that I wish were different. Yet, I have so many wonderful things in my life and resources Suha will never have.

This has also gotten me thinking about how the realization that life isn't how we pictured it may be the toughest thing to accept with infertility. It just seems to me that people who have been through infertility hell (however that is defined by that individual) and come out the other side, the subsequent losses / setbacks are easier. Maybe because there has been some acceptance that life shows up how it will - not how we want it to.

Does that make sense? Does it seem to you that once you survived that event even though your "stats" got worse or you were no closer to having a baby, infertility was still easier to deal with? Maybe we just become stronger or perhaps just more numb, but maybe it is because we just get better at accepting life the way it is. And if that is true, wouldn't it be great to be able to teach that to our fellow infertiles so they could avoid that dark place altogether? I would love to spare people that journey. Sadly, I suspect it can only be learned from the journey itself.


Fertilize Me said...

WOW- so terribly true. I however do hope and believe (maybe i'm nieve) that the blog commuinity does to make aware of this horrible disease, we are doing our part in making awareness for those to come

Drowned Girl said...

I think maybe we sometimes manage to appreciate what is good in the here and now. And really, what other lesson is there in life?

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
But today is a gift
That's why it's called the present

Lori said...

You said two things that really strike me:

(1) "...acceptance that life shows up how it will - not how we want it to."

A mentor once told me that being grown up means you see things the way they are instead of how you think they should be.

(2) "I would love to spare people that journey. Sadly, I suspect it can only be learned from the journey itself."

So true.

SULLY said...

Very very true!

Geohde said...

I think that, in this fairly cushioned first world setting that most people never really have to deal with loss and failure on a regular basis. IF forces us to learn to deal with not always getting what we want.

Foreverhopeful said...

So very true. I've changed and learnt so much from this horrible painful journey. But sadly, they were lessons I think we can only learn from going through the journey itself. But it does make us see life in a different perspective. We are so much more grateful for things we do have and that we can only be thankful for.

Kim said...

I do believe in my heart that when this journey is over (however it ends) I'll be a different person. I know I'm already different now but I know I'll go through so much more that will change me as well.

And you're right, you can only know it by going through it. I try to make people understand but sometimes you look at them and their eyes are glazed over.