Friday, August 3, 2007

Arrrrrrrrrrrg! (Updated - again)

After deciding that the billing people at my clinic were not going to ever put me in touch with my RE, I decided to call the front desk and try the more direct approach.

Me: May I speak to Dr. R please?
Receptionist: Dr. R will be out of the office until the 13th.
Me: Head explodes

I thought I might need to get through the weekend without a resolution - now it looks like it will be more than a week. Plus I will be working in the corporate office that week and may not find the privacy to call.

BTW, Anyone near Niagara Falls, NY? That's where I will be the week of August 13th. I would love to meet a fellow infertile.

Updated 13:00: My billing contact just called (who has been very helpful and understanding, I think it has been her manager who has put up the road block) to say they are talking about this issue again and if the answer is "no" then the RE should be calling me back to discuss it. Just as I was letting this one go for the next week I am on pins and needles again. It is reminiscent of being in the middle of a cycle.

Updated 14:40: The billing lady called to tell me that, although they still believe it was a misunderstanding on our part, they are going to give me the "x3" for a donor cycle. YEAH!!!!

They charged me the difference in price ($500 -still giving me a net savings for this cycle of $1500). I would have felt a bit more satisfied had the RE remembered what he promised us (although I acknowledge that both Brad and I could have misunderstood the doctors intention, I am quite convinced that we did not), but it is a kinder gesture on his part if he really believed that he did not offer this in the first place.

The bottom line is I feel
much better knowing we can do a second donor egg cycle if needed. We might have an 80% chance of success, but I just can't believe it will be that easy for us. Thanks everyone for your support over the last couple of days.


Meg said...

Wow - I would be ripping. I cant believe you have to wait that long for some resolution.

I wish I was near there but I am in Southern NH.

Inconceivable said...

uuuuuuuuuugh that's just insanity!! - not near there, come to FL instead ;)

SULLY said...

We can be near Niagra Falls if we wanted to be :) We are in Pgh Pa...only a 3 hour drive :) What ya doing???

I am glad you FINALLY have some resolution! Hopefully your cycle will be like mine...topsy turvy...then BOOM success!

Caro said...

Thanks for stopping by and good luck with your cycle.

Laura said...

Hi. I was given your blog by Lori D in Denver. She thought you might like to hear from someone who's BTDT as far as de/IVF goes.

We were waiting for three years with a local agency for a domestic adoption placement. Suffered two horrible failed matches - one where we were actually there for the birth of the baby and were his mom & dad for four glorious days before his mother chose to parent. These losses tore us open and it was not long after that when we felt that we'd better try something else. We began our road toward de/IVF. In January our agency then closed their domestic adoption program and we knew then that we had made the right choice in pursuing other ways to build our family.

Our situation is a little different than yours as we used an anonymous donor. We never met her, never talked with her, and we would be her first donation. We were all set to begin our cycle when the donor proved to be unsuitable and she did not respond well to the meds. This was mid-February, 2007. Three days later we chose another donor, this time a proven donor. Again her donation would be anonymous.

A week after choosing donor #2 we received a surprise phone call from our agency that a three-week old little boy needed a home and his birth mother had worked with the agency before and had chosen us to be his parents. WHAT?!? Yeah, we were going to be parents and the very next day we picked him up from cradle care.

We decided to move forward with the DE cycle knowing that we'd always wanted two children and now that we had one maybe the pressure would be off. We chose to transfer 1 perfect day 5 blast figuring that we'd rather incur the short-term costs of additional FET's if the first try didn't make it rather than the long-term costs emotional and physical of multiples and only 10 months after our little guy was born.

To our surprise, our one little embryo took and as I type this I'm still astonished that I'm sitting here 20 weeks pregnant and feeling fortunate beyond measure. There were countless days when I thought motherhood was the most elusive thing on this planet and that I would NEVER get the chance to be a mom. I'm sure you can relate.

I can tell you that I didn't really feel "connected" to the baby I carry until I saw her face on 3D ultrasound. For the longest time it simply felt like I was the "birth mom" this time around to our baby that would arrive sometime in December. What you anticipate feeling may or may not be the case, but I'm here to tell you that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I feel any less a mother simply because both of my children are not biologically tied to me.

Our ties are much stronger because they are forged out of love and a committment to being the best mother to my children as I can. I would have moved heaven & earth had it been possible for this honor. "The act of child birth alone does not a parent make," my grandmother and birth mother used to say. She was right. It takes a whole lot more than birthing a child to be a mother. This I know with the upmost surety.

Wishing you a smooth journey and successful cycle!

Laura in Denver

Kami said...

Laura - Thank you so much for your comment. I often believe I will feel good about this in the end - more often than not, in fact. Still it is hard to FEEL that way consistently. I will remember (and reread) what you wrote when I have one of "those" moments.


Meg said...

Great news!!!!

Pamela Jeanne said...

Delighted to hear that the things got better and that the trend is moving in the right direction for a change!

Kim said...

Glad you got the billing worked out. One less thing to worry about! As if you don't have enough?