Don't they understand that it is personal? (Updated)

I know it isn't really personal, but it feels personal.

But let me start at the beginning. My clinic doesn't have a typical shared risk program. What they do offer is what I call the "buy 2 get 1 free" package and what the clinic calls a "x3" package. If you have a baby with the first cycle, then you just spent several thousand dollars more than you would have if you bought just one cycle. If you do need the second cycle, chances are you will have saved a couple thousand dollars. If you need the third, you will save around $10,000. The goal from the clinics perspective is to have it all even out in the end so it neither costs them or makes them money.

To that end, the price varies depending upon the woman's age and the typical cost of the cycle. Someone under 35 only pays $12,000 for up to 3 cycles (drugs and extras like ICSI, AH not included). For someone 38-40 it is $15,000 and for donor eggs it is $15,500 for 3 cycles.

Here is the issue. After our 3rd failed IVF cycle, our RE offered us a "special x3" where we would buy 1 more cycle with my eggs and up to 2 cycles with donor eggs. I remember Brad and I looking at each other and thinking, "Sounds great!" Well, when I tried to pay for this package (thinking the cost would be somewhere between $15,000 and $15,500) I couldn't get the billing people to acknowledge what I was saying. It was like it was such a foreign idea, they couldn't even hear it. "Fine, just charge me for x3 for my eggs." I figured we could work out the details if we needed to move on to DE.

Flash forward to the DE cycle and they want to credit me for the x3 cycle and charge on a per cycle basis. If we get pregnant this cycle it would end up costing us between $1500 and $2000 more than x3 cost. If we needed a third cycle it would be about $10,000 more.

By this time I have talked to at least 2 people several times each and one finally said they would take it to the financial committee and get back to me. I told them that sounded good and if the answer came back less than what I expected to please have the doctor call me.

Well, they said I could use the x3 for my cost only. For those of you unfamiliar with donor eggs, the vast majority of the cost is for the donor! Although I haven't figured the cost at this point, I am sure their plan would cost me more for 2 or 3 cycles. Of course, I asked for the doctor again - after all it is his clinic and it was his suggestion.

Response so far? I will see if the doctor will call you back but I don't think it will make a difference. He is not part of the committee, but he was part of this discussion.

I am sitting here waiting for the call that may not come. I feel personally shunned. I even feel a bit betrayed. I know it isn't personal, but anything remotely associated with TTC can feel personal.

I just hope the RE calls back today. I just can't believe he wouldn't stand behind what he promised. At least, he'd better have one darn good reason why not.

Update: As the afternoon wore on I decided to call and check the status with the billing lady. It turns out my doctor is out today and she will try to have him call tomorrow. She will call me either way. I spent half of my lunch break crying. Why does every little thing seem so hard sometimes? Ug. Well, trying to let it go for now. I will update as I get it.