I'm up, I'm down, I'm . . . neutral?

First of all thank you for all the wonderful comments to my last post. They were all so helpful. I mean that - for those of you worried that you were saying the wrong thing or that it wouldn't be well received. I feel so fortunate to have such a network of experience and understanding available. I have felt very peaceful about the whole thing the last couple of days.

I may not be the norm here, but I find that my moods surrounding TTC are either very positive (hopeful, excited, etc.) or quite negative (tired, anxious, scared). It is rare when I just feel something close to neutral. It is so rare that last night I couldn't figure out why I felt so odd until I noticed that the normal background anxiety was gone. I wasn't looking at the calendar 10 times a day recalculating the number of days until the next cycle starts. I wasn't lamenting the loss of my genetic connection. It was almost as if I wasn't TTC at all. Does anyone else have moments like this when you realize that most of the time your brain really is all about TTC with very little room for anything else? I'm not complaining, mind you, it was quite nice.

Now, back to our usual programming:

We have decided to us go with the generelix protocol. I realized that I am thinking about going with Belinda to her monitoring appointments so I am going to be there anyway if they need to monitor me more closely than if we went with the lupron. The next cycle update should be Thursday when Belinda gets her pre-cycle physical and we get the antral follicle count. (Please be an over achiever Belinda!) After that, nothing but the wait to the medication start date . . . not that I will be counting.